Somewhere in a Sea of Grey
by Coesa Rudo
Summary: *AU DIVERGENT, INSURGENT, ALLEGIANT* UNDER REVISION! Tris has chosen to live her life in Abnegation where she falls in love with Tobias Eaton. When the attack on Erudite forces them into the Factionless with Evelyn and those left who are loyal to Dauntless, Tris begins to realize that she will have to become the brave and courageous person she left behind when she chose grey.
1. Chapter 1

**My revised Chapter 1 let me know if you like this more. I just feel like I can do better so I promise to step it up, I feel like I kind of cheated you all out of some details and events. **

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**Chapter 1**

_If you aren't careful, you will be dead. _

I wipe my sweaty palms across my pants, taking a deep breath. I stand next to Caleb, hoping that somehow my choice will stumble upon me. Maybe when I get to the bowls, I will find clarity. Perhaps, feeling the knife across my hand will open my eyes to the right decision.

_There is no right decision, you are Divergent. _

The voice in the back of my mind keeps reminding me that this more than a choice of who I will be for the rest of my life, it is a choice of whether or not I will have a life to live. Caleb's name is called, I release another shaky breath. Did the time fly that fast? Caleb nears the bowl, he seems so sure of himself. A comfort I do not have. Caleb doesn't turn to look at our parents or at me. What is it like to know that you are perfectly content with being selfless? How does it feel to not have a doubt in your mind over where you truly belong?

Caleb's hand reaches out. I hold in my gasp as he throws his hand out over the bowl of water. He has chosen Erudite. I bite the inside of my cheek, my brother was supposed to be selfless enough to cut his hand and set it over the full grey stones, yet to be splattered with vermilion blood. Instead, it was just muddled with the now dull red water of Erudite. I vaguely hear my name and walk towards the bowls that will determine my future. I look to my parents, see my father's anguish within his eyes and debate my decision. I take yet another breath and cut my hand, deeply, hoping that maybe the pain will help me focus on making a decision. I watch my father's anguish turn into hope as he looks at me. And with what little piece of Abnegation that is in me, I move my hand out, it begins to rove towards the burning coals that ignite my soul. I want so badly to be selfish and give into my wants, my desires, my fire.

My blood drips down my hand and onto the floor, I need to choose. I can tell everyone's eyes are on me. I am selfish, my instinct is self-preservation. Where will I live longest? Where will I be safe? I move my hand once again. My decision has been made, I find myself reaching for the place where I can be me. I shut my eyes. Where will I go? Will I be free?

I stay true to the life I was raised in. My blood is the first to stain the grey coals, the first to identify myself as a member Abnegation.

Forgotten, lost, and hidden.

A small piece in a never ending dull color that is easily forgotten. I walk away and stand alone, until a few others join me, none of course people who I speak to often or even really know. Except Susan. I almost snort, I don't really know any of them. We can't ask questions, curiosity is not a very Abnegation trait. I need to stop thinking this way, I have made my decision, I will need to stick with it and with a better attitude. I can handle this, I was going to switch to Dauntless, initiation there must be harder than this. If I could have passed initiation there, I can definitely pass it here.

I hear the thunderous steps of Dauntless, my stare lingering for a moment on them. I could have been there. My father begins to clean up once everyone has left. I follow his direction and help the rest of my faction. Susan walks towards me, "do you need any help Beatrice?" I see some sadness in Susan's eyes, I wonder if she was shocked when Robert switched?

"No, but thank you Susan." I lend her a small smile and finish cleaning everything up. This is the world that I am going to be in forever, I should work on perfecting my Abnegation tendencies. My father turns to us, looking at each of us to get our attention. Although, we don't speak often and are hardly ever doing anything but listening to others. Each of us keeps our heads slightly bowed, as if to humble and selfless to show confidence in ourselves.

"Initiates please come with me. I will be your instructor for today, since we do not want to burden our fellow members with training you the entire thirty days. As a result, we will be sharing the responsibility. We would like to teach you how to be a part of the community and you can learn that best with Abnegation members who have various professions. It takes a village to raise a child, and you are the future of Abnegation, we should properly prepare you for a life of selflessness."

I focus on my father telling us about our stay here in Abnegation and the general schedule of initiation.

Walking with my faction, I recognize that I can be safe here with my family.

* * *

For dinner I sit next to Susan eating quietly and looking at my food. I wonder what I would be eating in Dauntless?

Would it be this silent?

Would I have made friends, real friends?

I set my fork into the chicken, which after staring at it for a few moments begins to lose its brown color and turn into grey. Susan gives me a small, Abnegation smile. I'm jealous of Susan Black. She just fits in perfectly, I bet her aptitude test went just as planned. I bet it all went perfectly normal, and when her name was called she walked to the bowls, with ease cut her hand, and felt no sense of wonder or regret or fear over which choice she would make. I bet she even felt secure in her decision. I head to the room that I share with the other female initiates. I sit down on my bed and unwrap my hair from it's bun. My blonde locks cascade around my shoulders.

After debating going to sleep, I decide to walk a bit. Susan is already preparing for bed, she smiles at me, "are you feeling alright, Beatrice?"

"I'm fine thank you, I'm just going to get some water." Susan seems to accept this and turns to her bed. I shouldn't lie that easily, especially to innocent and sweet Susan. I walk down a hall, peering into open doors and listening for footsteps, indicating someone might see me. I walk towards the back door, hopping for some fresh air.

I sit along grass and stare at the stars, I am in Abnegation. I have chosen to stay here. I will forget myself and serve others. Pressing my hands into the grass, I focus on the city in front of me. What would I be doing in Dauntless right now?

Would I be awake? Would I miss my family?

I hear a creaking and turn to see a tall silhouette. Immediately, I push myself off the ground. I attempt to think of an excuse as to why I am outside at this time when I should be sleeping. Standing tall, I look up into a pair of black eyes, peering closer they seem more of a dark blue hue. "What are you doing out here?"

"I.." I was careful to make sure I wasn't seen, there is no way he could have seen me. So why is he here? "What are you doing out here?"

He seems slightly taken back by my answer, "you are not a transfer?"

"No, I'm not."

"Then you should know better than wandering around when you should be sleeping."

I feel some of my pride surge within me, how can he tell me what to do when he shouldn't be out here either. I look at him closer, "you are Marcus's son aren't you?" I struggle to remember his name, it started with a T, "Tobias."

Tobias's lips form a flat line, I can see his jaw is drawn tight. "You are Andrew's daughter, correct?"

We have been talking in circles it seems, neither one of us answering a question, but replying with another one. "Yes, I am. I'm Beatrice."

Tobias nods, "I recommend you return to the dorm with the female initiates."

I bite my tongue and walk towards the door, Tobias clears his throat. I turn around to face him, "be careful, Beatrice."

I wince at my name, it sounds much too grey, much too selfless, I need it to sound more like me. Divergent. I shake my head and walk inside. I can't be Divergent, I need to be Abnegation. I slip into the dorm and fall into the scratchy grey sheets.

* * *

My father passes us each a trash bag, "today, we help clean up the Factionless sector of the city. This is an important job, one you should consider if you would like to help those who can not help themselves. When we aid the Factionless we help make their lives healthier and safer. Each take a trash bag and collect any trash you find. We will do this until lunch, then we will spend the afternoon canning food for the Factionless. Stay here on this main stretch of road."

I follow the other initiates and pick up trash as I see it, I never was comfortable here in the Factionless. I walk along the pieces of broken glass, tossing empty cans and paper into the bag. Despite the instructions to stay with everyone else, I leave the main path and follow the twists and turns of the abandoned buildings. I turn the corner and see a few Factionless standing around in a circle, their mismatch clothing, tattered and loose. My mother stitches socks for the Factionless, I wonder how many of them are wearing her socks. I see a figure run past them, a blur of grey streaking my view.

Was that an Abnegation?

An Abnegation running through the Factionless? Curiosity gets the best of me, I walk along the edges of the Factionless in the direction of the blur. I hear a few voices nearby, hiding behind the corner I look at the tall grey Abnegation man speaking to an older woman.

I've seen him before, I blink, Tobias. Tobias Eaton, what is he doing here? Why is he speaking to that woman? Confusion twists at my mind, I stand and watch them talk together. I wonder what they are saying?

I need to go, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have ever left the main road, this is a very not-Abnegation thing to do. I peel myself away from the corner and walk towards my father and the other initiates. Questions race through my mind about what Tobias was doing in the Factionless.

After a few minutes of picking up trash, I come to a conclusion, Tobias Eaton is not as he seems.

He definitely is not a strict, straight-laced, Abnegation.

He doesn't stick to the guidelines of our faction.

I wonder why.

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**Okay my revised chapter 1. Hope you enjoy, please tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

For the past week, I have been sneaking outside hoping to run into Tobias. The more I think about him associating with the Factionless the more I wonder why. The average Abnegation would help the Factionless, but not speak openly with them in a far off place, one that is separated from the main road.

Why would Tobias put himself at risk? Someone could catch him and accuse him of being disloyal to Abnegation, that would make him a misfit.

_Could he be Divergent?_

I shake the thought from my mind, there has to be a logical reason as to why he was out there among the Factionless. I walk outside, lazy in my way of staying hidden. No one will catch me, except Tobias. I lay down in the grass, waiting. Maybe he won't come tonight, he hasn't all week. Maybe the one time I saw him was an odd coincidence.

I shut my eyes, feel the crisp wind blow my hair into my face, a laugh bubbles from my throat.

"What are you doing out here, Beatrice?"

My eyes open, "Tobias." I sit myself up on my elbows.

Tobias looks down on me, "you should go back to the dorms. You could get in trouble for this."

"I could say the same to you."

"Really?" Tobias raises an eyebrow and crosses his arms. "Stand up."

I stand, step back and look up, "why were you in the Factionless."

"I wasn't."

"I know it was you. I saw you. It was on the first day of initiation. What were you doing there?"

Tobias stares at me for a while. The silence between us heavy, did I make a mistake in doing this? Tobias glances around and takes my arm, dragging me further away from the back door and towards the empty field behind the building. His grip is tight, stronger then I expected. "Let go of me."

Tobias stops and releases his grip on my arm, "what do you know about me?"

"I know you were in the Factionless."

"Beatrice, " Tobias scratches behind his ear, "have you told anyone?"

"I'm not stupid. I didn't tell anyone. So why were you over there."

"That is none of your business," his tone stings. I am being chastised. "Why were you over there anyway. You were supposed to be with your initiate class."

"Well, you were supposed to be...doing whatever it is you do. So tell me, what is going on?"

Tobias presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "Beatrice! This is dangerous."

Is he talking about Divergence? Fear begins to wrap around me, I decide to play stupid, "I don't know what you could possibly mean."

"Yes you do. You and I both know we weren't supposed to be in that area of the Factionless. We are both putting ourselves at risk even having this conversation."

I stare at him, wide eyed, has he figured out my secret? I feel like DIVERGENT is labeled on my forehead, if Tobias can see it who else can. I swallow the lump in my throat, I drop my voice, "you know?"

Tobias runs his hand through his hair, "of course I do. When I caught you out here the first time I suspected something. But now...Just go back Beatrice. Don't tell anyone we had this conversation."

"I'm not an idiot! I know that..." I wonder if this means Tobias is in fact, Divergent. Does he understand who I am? Does he have answers, I open my mouth to ask, but the look in Tobias eyes tells me that wouldn't a smart decision. There is something dangerous, wild, in his eyes. Unstable, I wonder if it is in my eyes as well.

"Go Beatrice."

I walk a few paces away, I need answers. I shut my eyes, he hasn't told anyone about me being here. He is warning me, maybe he can be trusted. I decide to be brave, I spin on my heel and walk back to him, "I want answers."

Tobias cocks his head back and stares at the moon, "Beatrice..."

"I want answers. And you are going to give them tome." I keep my tone serious, authoritative.

"Meet me back here in two hours, when you are sure, absolutely sure no one else is awake. Be careful, okay? And bring your jacket, it gets cold at night."

I smile, "thank you."

* * *

I wait outside in the field, wrapped tightly in my jacket. I feel small excitement and dread at the thought of getting the answers I want. I'm not sure I want to know exactly what I am, but I also don't want to remain clueless as to why I'm dangerous. I hear a footsteps behind me, I turn to Tobias and tuck a lock of my hair back.

"Let's walk." He walks ahead of me, his stride long. I have to make up a few steps to keep up with him.

I begin to toss questions at him, but he puts his hand up, "wait."

I keep silent until he stops and sits down in the grass, it is over grown here. Covering my head and concealing most of Tobias. "Will you answer me now?"

Tobias nods and rests his elbows on his knees, "Beatrice, you realize that you can be killed for who you are."

"Yes."

He nods, "I don't have many answers."

"Are you one," I lower my voice and glance around, saying the word Divergent out loud seems more dangerous then when it's said in my mind, "Divergent?"

Tobias looks at me, "my results were Abnegation."

"So was mine. So what was your result really?"

"Abnegation."

"So you aren't one?"

Tobias shakes his head, "not exactly."

"What does that mean?" I sigh, "Tobias, I'm alone here in Abnegation, if there is someone out there like me, I want to know."

"My results were Abnegation, but the woman who administered my test knew I was different."

I nod, "are we safe here?"

"In Abnegation?"

I nod. "Yeah, Abnegation."

Tobias shrugs, "we are safer here than we are in Dauntless or Candor."

"Why?"

Tobias smiles, "Candor puts us under simulation, we are forced to tell the truth. I think that definitely qualifies as a danger to us."

"And Dauntless?"

"I don't know much about their initiation, but I know it involves simulations."

I twirl a piece of grass between my fingers, "does Initiation get any...more interesting?"

Tobias laughs under his breath, it's deep as if it came from somewhere deep within, "no."

I groan, "really?"

"Yes, it remains the same."

"Where do you work?"

"You are asking a lot of questions."

I shrug, "now that I know you aren't a strict Abnegation, I might as well get out my selfish habits. So where do you work?"

"I watch the computers in Abnegation."

I nod, "is that fun?"

He shrugs, "it's easy. I'm good with computers."

"Can I stop by?"

He looks at me, "why, am I that likable?"

"No, you are real approachable. You know like a bed of nails."

Tobias smiles, "I could say the same to you."

"So is that a yes?"

"Sure, no one is ever in there anyway."

I nod, "good, I can't sleep sometimes. Usually I come outside, but since you are here, I might as well go to you."

Tobias nods and stares at the stars above us, "so, Beatrice?" I can tell he has a question ready for me.

I shake my head at my name, "it's a boring name."

"What?"

"Beatrice, my name, it's boring."

"So change it."

"To what?"

Tobias shrugs.

I lean my head back, "I don't know, what do you think?"

Tobias thinks for a moment, "Bea?"

I scrunch up my nose and shake my head. Tobias tosses his head back and laughs, "guess not...Hm, so no Bea...How about Tris?"

Tris, "I like that."

"Okay, then Tris it is."

* * *

I sit next to Tobias staring at computer screens, this is the third time I have been in there this week, I wonder if we are breaking any rules by doing this. "Are we friends now Tobias?"

Tobias looks at me, "I don't have friends."

"No one in Abnegation does. No one knows each other well enough to be friends. So are we friends?"

"Do I know you well enough?"

I shrug, "I don't know. Friends know simple things about each other. What is your favorite color?"

"Blue."

I nod, "like what shade of blue?"

"An icy, clear blue. It's a refreshing color. What is yours?"

"I don't know if I have one. It's definitely not grey. Ask me again tomorrow, I will have an answer. What is your favorite food?"

"Chicken and peas." Tobias laughs and glances at me.

"You are kidding! Mine too." I laugh softly to myself, "I always wanted to have dessert."

"Dessert?"

"Yes, like that chocolate stuff I always heard the kids at school talk about when I was little."

"Chocolate?"

"Haven't you ever wanted some Tobias?"

Tobias leans back in his chair. "I never thought about it."

"You should, it seems very delicious. I also want to try something decadent. Like really rich and sweet." Tobias smiles at me and stare for a while, I look over, "what is it?"

"We are friends, Tris."

I break into a grin, "on that note, I will go back to my dorm and go to sleep."

"Really? I tell you we are friends and you just pick up and leave."

I stand and brush myself off, "I will see you tomorrow, _friend_."

Tobias rolls his eyes and walks me to the door of my dorm, "you be careful, Tris."

"You too." I begin to bow, but Tobias shakes his head, he tentatively offers his hand.

"Friends shake hands, right?"

I glance at his hand, and slowly put mine into his, "yeah, they do." It's awkward for both of us, and when we let go, we glance around waiting to get into trouble from someone for having physical contact. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Tris."

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**Review hope you like how this is going. I feel more confident in it. **


	3. Chapter 4

**okay, I know the first three chapters weren't up to par with my usual level of writing, but I'm here to tell you I was having a moment. The moment has passed, I'm back in the groove. I pushed back Erudites Attack since it's an AU and I can do that, plus I am in the mood for some fluff! **

**I hope you enjoy! I don't own Divergent...you guys know the rest. ;)**

**I'm currently listening to Taylor Swift's Fearless Album so this one will be plenty romantic. Music affects my mood and I feel very Nicholas Sparks, Notbook-y now. **

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**Chapter 4**

I sit across from Tobias and stare at my plate. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, the Abnegation in us forcing the dinner to be silent.

I finally groan and Tobias looks up at me, "are you alright?"

I shake my head, "this feels so...formal."

Tobias seems to think on this for a while, "it is dinner."

"You know what I have always wanted to do?"

Tobias smiles, "what?"

"I always wanted to eat in the living room."

Tobias' smile widens, "really?"

"Yes. I mean, haven't you ever wanted to just eat on the couch?"

He shrugs, "I haven't ever really thought about it."

"Come on." I take my glass and plate and walk to the couch. I sit down and balance the plate on my legs and set the cup on the floor next to me.

Tobias soon follows, sitting across from me, "what else have you always wanted to do?"

I look up and bite the inside of my cheek, considering the things I am free to do now that I am in my own house. "I want to walk around in my pajamas with my hair down."

"You keep your hair in a bun all day?"

I smile, "I had to pretend to be a perfect Abnegation for my parents remember...Although I wasn't very good at it."

Tobias doesn't laugh at me, he just nods, as if understanding what I meant in a way that only someone like us would. We are different, and as dangerous as it was to admit it, I needed to know. I couldn't wait much longer to find out if I was alone. If I was special.

But I'm not alone, because Tobias is Divergent to.

Tobias sets his plate down, "well why don't you let your hair down?"

I blush, the Abnegation coming out, no one besides my mother has seen my hair down. And the only time that happened was when she would cut my hair. Also the only time I got to see a mirror. I can't take it out now, not with Tobias here. "No, I couldn't take it out."

Tobias moves closer to me, "turn around, I will take it out the bun. Just direct me as to how to do it. I'm not a girl, so I could mess up."

Tobias is my friend, I can be comfortable around him. God knows I can't be comfortable around anyone else. I swallow and turn around, "it's simple really. You just gently pull and it will just fall apart." I feel long and nimble fingers in my hair. The tension that has been bunched on the nape of my neck from the bun fades away. My blonde locks cascading around my shoulders in soft waves. I turn back to Tobias, "thank you."

He looks at me, his eyes searching mine then gives me half a smile, that makes my heart pick up it's pace. Why is my heart beating faster? "I like your hair down, you should wear it like that more often."

I blush and shift my eyes to my plate. "I'm not very hungry anymore." I pick up my plate and walk to the sink. I need to take a breath, let my heart slow, the warmth that is crawling onto my cheeks need to end.

"I'm not very hungry either...Don't you wish we could have dessert for once in our lives?" I can hear Tobias footsteps behind me. Quick, strong, and light.

I turn to look at Tobias, and step back, the small of my back hitting the sink. Tobias stands across from me just a few breaths away. I look up into his eyes and my heart starts to pick up its fast beat. "Dessert would be nice." I say, breathless.

Tobias moves a fraction closer to me and my breathing begins to get uneven. What is wrong with me? A boy hasn't ever made me feel this way. Tobias hasn't ever made me feel this way before. Yes, I was drawn to him, but he hasn't ever made me breathless and excited and nervous and confused and...absolutely everything all at one. My stomach feels like it's doing flips and my head is scattered, my skin feels like it's tingling and I can't seem to focus my eyes anywhere but Tobias eyes. His hand squeezes my arm, "are you okay Tris?"

He drops his hand and it leaves a ring of this tantalizing fire on my arm that spreads warmth through me. "I'm fine." I hardly manage to get out the words as I desperately want to feel his hand again. I wonder what it would feel like in mine?

No, Tobias is a friend. I need to snap out of this.

I take a deep breath and shake my head. Hoping that feeling will be shaken away, I am disappointed. Instead when I look back to Tobias, I suddenly can't think straight.

Maybe, I do like him.

Tobias leans forward, if he speaks our lips will brush together.

I wonder what that would feel like.

I stand, still as a statue, hoping that if I don't move maybe this moment won't ever end.

Tobias steps back and scratches the back of his neck, red painted across his cheeks. "Sorry," he murmurs and sets his plate in the sink.

"Are you blushing, _Tobias?_" I am slightly taken back by my flirty and playful tone of voice.

Tobias seems surprised to, but a small smirk climbs onto his lips. He looks at me and seems to be debating something, "would you like to go for a walk?"

"Why not? We can't have dessert, might as well do something new." We don't walk to leisure in Abnegation, and between Tobias and I we know that this walk isn't for any selfless reason. Besides most Abnegation are usually asleep right now, preparing for another day of slaving for others.

I follow Tobias outside, the cold wind wraps around me and I shiver. Tobias looks down at me, "come on. I have a jacket at my house."

I walk across the street and stand outside the door, waiting for Tobias. "Tris? You can come in."

I nod, "I didn't want to be intrusive and barge into your home."

"Tris, my house is your house. Make yourself at home."

I step into this house, which is identical to mine. To a certain degree his house is my house. "It has character," I say, remembering what he told me earlier today when I first moved into my home. I head up the stairs and peek in the rooms, all standard Abnegation grey. I turn to the room that looks lived in, the door knob is faded, obviously it's been used. I open the door, uniform, clean, grey. Something glints to my right, I turn and see a blue vase against a table.

Tobias one stand against the selfless sea we live in. His own personal piece of himself, his own selfishness a proud part of his room. Where did he find this?

My fingers slide along the top of the vase, strong but fragile.

"Beautiful."

I turn around and pull my hand away, "I'm sorry for touching your things."

"Don't be Tris. My house your house, remember?"

I nod, "yes it is beautiful."

"I didn't mean the vase." I can hear some confidence and boldness in his voice.

"What did you mean?"

Tobias scratches the back of his neck again, "why don't we head out?"

I nod and follow him down the stairs and outside, I shut the door and Tobias helps me put on the jacket. His fingers brush along my neck as he adjusts the collar on the back of my neck and moves my hair. He leaves fire on my skin from his touch.

I pull the jacket closer, the smell of Tobias now wrapped around my arms. His jacket is to long for me, my hands hidden by the sleeves, the bottom of the jacket reaching my knees instead of my waist. It's Abnegation grey, but it feels more personal and less uniform. Tobias and I walk down the street until we come to a marsh.

I point ahead to the large circle with peeling paint far off.

"It's a Ferris wheel," he smiles, "would you like to go see it?"

"That would be fun."

We walk over to the Ferris wheel, and I have a strong want to climb it. "Would you climb it with me?"

Tobias stares at it, "maybe some other day?"

"Why don't you stay here, and I will climb it. I don't mind. I just want to see how everything looks from the top."

I forge ahead testing my weight on one of the rungs of the ladder, it seems sturdy enough for my small frame. I push the long sleeves of Tobias' jacket up and climb up slowly, the cold wind blowing my hair back. I hear something creak beneath me and look down. "You don't have to come, Tobias."

"Yes, I do."

I smile to myself and continue my trek upwards. Why is Tobias doing this to me? Why is he making my head spin? I reach a platform and move across it, planting myself on the edge. The lights across the city dot the skyline, Abnegation's lights are usually out earlier than others. The rest of the city is awake and enjoying themselves no doubt, celebrating their Initiation Ceremony. Would I be celebrating mine if I would have switched to Dauntless?

Would I be with Tobias if he had switched to?

I feel his presence next to me and I look at him, "do you ever wish you switched to Dauntless?"

"Sometimes."

"I wish I did, I wish you did, I wish we could be there. I wish I could be Dauntless."

Tobias turns to face me, his hand cups my face and my heartbeat picks up. He moves closer to me, my thoughts and wishes and hopes of what might happen between us being tossed into the wind with my breaths.

His lips are so close to mine, I can feel the static around his, "be Dauntless, Tris."

Tobias leans forward, pressing his lips to mine. It's sweet and gentle and passionate all at one.

I move closer and find my hands tangled in his hair, curly and soft.

I pull back and gasp, "that was amazing."

Tobias smiles, "it was?"

"It was..." I look at Tobias, "what does all this mean?"

"What do you want it to mean?"

I bite the inside of my cheek for a while until a copper taste fills my mouth, I tighten his jacket around my shoulders, "I, um, I don't know. Tobias, you make me feel so...different." I watch his face falter slightly, "different is a good thing, Tobias. I mean, you make me happy and excited and I feel bold and strong and...you make me feel beautiful...and you make me feel wanted. Even though I know I'm not really pretty or that desirable."

Tobias shakes his head, "Tris, you are beautiful and desirable and perfect."

I smile and lean my head against his shoulder, a few thoughts cross my mind "but your older than me. I don't know what you would expect from me, from this."

"Two years Tris. Two years isn't really anything and don't expect anything from you."

"So are we...an us?"

Tobias laughs, "if you want."

I nod, "that would be nice." I snuggle closer to him, "how long can we stay here?"

"Not much longer, I should have you home at a reasonable hour, you pick your job tomorrow morning."

I nod, "well let's get a move on then. I want to spend as much time with you as possible."

We begin to climb down the ladder and I reach the bottom first. I offer my hand to Tobias. He takes it, my hand fitting to his despite how much larger his is than mine. We walk quietly up the streets, Tobias and I enjoying the comfortable silence between us. I bound up the steps to my house and open the door. I turn to Tobias, "goodnight Tris."

It hits me that this is my house. I am alone in this big house, my parents aren't here anymore, I'm an adult. "Would you like to stay?"

"Tris, I don't know if that's a good idea-"

I shake my head, "I mean just for tonight, it's my first night here."

He nods, seeming to understand my anxiety, he follows me inside and I grab a blanket and a pillow. I sit on the couch next to where Tobias has already seated himself. He smiles and puts an arm around me, "why don't I cook you dinner tomorrow?"

"That sounds nice." I yawn and lean against Tobias. My head rests against the crook of his neck, I feel the blanket wrap around my shoulder and his grip on me tighten. His lips press against my temple, "goodnight, Tris."

"Goodnight Tobias."

Tonight, I dream of a life with Tobias. Even if it is in a sea of grey.

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	4. Chapter 5

**Okay, here is chapter 5. I am unsure of Abnegation courting customs, so I can't guarantee how correct this is, but I spoke to a few other authors and got some ideas. So this is my best shot at Abnegation courting customs. **

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**Chapter 5**

I wake up, looking at Tobias sleeping face. He seems so calm when he is asleep, so at peace. Even after I told him that I was Divergent he didn't seem at ease. He seems older, stressed even like there is a weight on his shoulders that just won't go away. I wonder what this boy has been through to make him so...hurt.

I trace my finger along his jaw, then across his cheek. Soon I am outlining his face with my hand, wanting to feel and understand what he is going through, what pains him in this way. I haven't ever cared for someone like this before. To think I have only known Tobias, truly known him since my first night of initiation.

I scoot closer to Tobias and press a small kiss on his cheek, quietly I slip off the couch and realize how Tobias fell asleep with his arm around me. I feel warmth bubble in me, we don't have much contact in Abnegation and his putting his arm around me and kissing me yesterday signifies that we are romantically involved with each other.

I wonder if Tobias will follow through with the Abnegation courting customs. People in Abnegation get married quite young, usually between 18 to 20.

I dare to allow myself to wonder what a life with Tobias might be like. To be called his, his wife, his love.

I shake those thoughts out of my head, Tobias could have a girl much prettier than me. One who would be the perfect Abnegation wife.

Tobias yawns and stretches, "good morning Tris."

"Good morning, Tobias."

Tobias smiles at me, "I like waking up to seeing your face."

I feel a blush crawl onto my cheeks, I brush some of my hair out of my face and behind my ear.

Tobias stands up and begins folding the blanket, "are you hungry, Tris? I can make something."

"You are the guest in my home, I should be making you breakfast."

Tobias laughs, "how long have we known each other?"

"Since initiation. Why?"

"And we are...well in a relationship correct?"

"Yes...Why is this relevant."

"Well, you should realize that I want to make you breakfast. You have known me long enough to know that I only want to make you smile."

I smile at him, and remember my earlier thoughts, "but why me? I mean, Tobias you could have any girl in Abnegation, your smart, your handsome, your sweet..."

"And I don't want them. I want you."

"But why? I'm not ugly, but there are plenty of girls here who are so much prettier and I have the body of a little girl, and I-"

Tobias lips against mine cuts me off. He pulls back and smiles at me, "You are beautiful, you are bold, and strong, and brave, and I love every inch of you."

My jaw drops slightly,"you love me?"

Tobias turns red and scratches the back of his neck, "when we first met at the beginning of Abnegation I knew you were different. And all the nights you came and spent with me in the Control room, and all the walks we took, and the time we spent together..."

"You fell in love with me?"

"Yes," he smiles sheepishly, "I understand if you don't feel that strongly about me."

"I know I like you, a lot. I don't know if I'm in love. I love spending time with you, and being around you, and I hate when you leave me. I don't know what that means? But, I would like to find out. I don't know how it feels to be in love. But if it feels anything like this, then it's amazing."

Tobias takes my hand, "I was afraid I would scare you off. If I told you."

I shake my head, "I never thought I would be loved, let alone fall in love Tobias." I lead us into the kitchen. "I choose my job today."

"And what are you thinking?"

I bite the inside of my cheek, "I think I will do something involving other factions, given who I am. Plus, my father made me an offer to work as a correspondent between factions. "

Tobias nods, "how does some toast sound?"

I shrug, "same thing as always." Tobias lets my hand go and I watch how sure his movements are. How confident he is in himself, meanwhile that weight on his shoulders is still there. that pain, that pressure always in his eyes. A sharp knock on the door captures my attention.

Tobias turns to me his eyes wide, "I think it's my mother. She mentioned stopping by, my father is at work. Don't worry. She won't question my hair being down. Just stay in the kitchen and stay quiet okay?"

Tobias nods and continues silently making toast. I head towards the door and swing it open.

"Father?"

My father stands in front of me, "I'm sorry if this is an inconvenient time for you. It appears as though you were preparing for your day." My father motions to my hair.

I blink a few times and step aside. "Yes, Father. I was just about to put my hair up. I have just woken up and was in the process of making breakfast." It was obvious my father was waiting for me to invite him in. Please let Tobias, stay hidden and quiet.

My father steps inside, "Beatrice, I would like to escort you to choose your job today. I am hoping you considered my offer."

"Yes, Father. As a matter of fact, I discussed my choice with a friend and have decided to accept your offer. I would like to work as a correspondent between other factions."

My father smiles, "I am glad that you have arrived to that conclusion. I will wait here, until you finish getting ready. Allow me to finish preparing breakfast."

Why does the Abnegation in him have to ask to make my breakfast? "Father, it is fine. Really, just wait right here and I will go put my hair up and wash up."

I run to my room and get ready as quickly as possible. I told my father to wait where he was told, he wouldn't defy that right? No, being Abnegation is obliging to others. I told him to wait there. I head out and walk to where my father should be.

"Father?"

My heart stops, he is in the kitchen. I close my eyes and count to ten. I walk into the kitchen to see my father and Tobias standing there, in what could be assumed as a stare-off. I clear my throat, "Tobias was just stopping by to make sure I was settled in well."

My father looks between the two of us, "am I to assume he was just stopping by and forgot to leave yesterday?"

My eyes widen, "I..."

My father looks to me, "Beatrice, Tobias, are the two of you romantically involved with one another?"

I look down and blush, it is not a proper Abnegation custom for the woman to speak for herself in regards to a relationship. Tobias takes a breath, "yes sir."

My father looks to him, "so you two have begun to take the proper steps to court?"

"Yes sir."

"Beatrice, when did you plan on notifying your mother and I?"

I look up, "this afternoon, after choosing my occupation, Father."

I can see my father's jaw is tight, he clearly is not okay with what has happened here. "I expect to see both of you at dinner tonight to discuss this...courting arrangement. Beatrice let's go. We must leave soon in order to fill out the proper paper work regarding your occupation." He turns to walk out and notices the folded blanket and pillow, his stare lingers on it, "I expect that the two of you are taking certain precautions in regards to your relationship."

"Father nothing of the sort happened last night," I snap. I wince immediately, not only did I snap at my father and admit to Tobias staying here. I also just gave away that we have had some type of physical contact. My father clenches his fist for a brief moment, "goodbye Tobias. Come Beatrice."

I follow my father and turn to Tobias. I give him a weak smile and follow my father outside. I trust Tobias to watch the house for me.

The rest of my day goes by in a blur, between paperwork and my father guiding me through his job everyday, I hardly have time to think about how I am going to survive this dinner.

* * *

I walk home and open my door slowly, hoping Tobias is home.

Is at my home. It isn't our home.

Yet.

I shake that thought from my mind. My parents might disapprove of this relationship, then I where would Tobias' relationship with me be?

I set my jacket over the back of a chair and walk into the kitchen to find Tobias sitting on the counter. "Honey, I'm home." I say with mock sincerity.

"_Honey_?"

I laugh, "sorry, thought I would give it a try."

"Okay, then, _babe, _how was your day today?"

"Boring. Lot's of grey, on the bright side I think my father highly disapproves of you and I."

Tobias frowns, "well, I can change that."

"Oh, you are sure of that?" I ask, walking towards him and wrapping my hands around his neck.

"Of course, I am sure of that." Tobias kisses me, deep and passionate. "We have a dinner to go to tonight."

"Yes, I know."

"Are you scared, Tris?"

"Yes."

"What if your parents don't approve Tris? Will you stop seeing me?"

"No, I don't think so. You make me feel so alive, so special, so beautiful, I don't want to lose that."

"I don't want to lose you. If you are willing to do this regardless of the approval or disapproval we get, so will I."

I smile and kiss Tobias again, "I like this. Waking up to you and seeing you when you get home."

"Tris, I know. I love it to."

"Do you think you would ever marry me?"

"I plan on it."

I smile, "really?"

Tobias kisses my nose, then my cheeks, and finally fits his mouth to mine. I melt under his touch, "yes, Tris, really."

I look up into his eyes, "we should head to my parents house for dinner. I want to get home early, I have to sleep for work."

"I have to go to the control room tonight, too."

I nod, "will you stay here again?"

Tobias contemplates it, "I'm not sure."

"Tobias, I love having you here, you can stay in the guest bedroom, so your comfortable. I just...Please?"

Tobias smiles, "okay." I turn my back to him and look at the clock, Tobias adjusts my bun and I feel his arms wrap around my wait. His lips against the back of my neck.

"Tobias!"

I hear his chuckle and spin around, "that tickled."

"It did?"

"It did."

Tobias walks towards me and pulls me into his arms, "we should go, and then maybe we can walk to the Ferris wheel again? Or come back here and enjoy the evening?"

I smile, "that sounds nice." I take his hand and we walk to my parents house. I knock and my mother answers the door, Tobias and I decided to keep proper distance. Although my slightly chapped and swollen lips might make me look suspicious. Tobias and I haven't kissed _that _much, but it seems like his lips have done their damage. My mother lets us in. My father greets us and another figure emerges.

Marcus. Oh this just escalated. I know my father must have invited him to find out how he feels about his son being in a relationship with me.

I watch Tobias body language change extensively, his posture is rigid, his jaw set in hard firm lines, his anger apparent in his eyes. What is going on?

I will ask Tobias later. My mother clears her throat, "let's eat dinner. Beatrice, would you mind assisting me in taking the food to the table?"

I nod and follow my mother into the kitchen, I have always been more comfortable around my mother. I look at her and raise my eyebrows, "this will be interesting."

My mother looks at me and then gives me a small smile and winks, "yes, it will."

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**Review tell me how you like it!**


	5. Chapter 6

**In response the review from I love wawas, yes there will be a war. It will cover the major events of Divergent/Insurgent/Allegiant, but since it's an AU where they had been in Abnegation the outcomes will be different. That includes the ending of the third book and some of the other plot choices that were made by Veronica Roth. So, yes there will be war, but it won't work the same way it did in the books. **

**Leave reviews and ideas, PM me any time. I love reading your thoughts. Have you guys ever listened to Nighvale Podcast?**

**It is hilarious, you might hate it or love it. It's a very science-fiction-y show and the humor is definitely different, but it's great. I'm listening to it now, but hopefully it won't affect the chapter for today. **

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**Chapter 6 _(Guest signed in as: I love wawas, response is above)_**

I set down the plates and sit next to Tobias at the table. As my parents pass the food to the right, I keep my eyes trained downwards. Choosing not to look my father in the eyes and see how he feels regarding Tobias, I focus on rationing out a small amount of chicken and peas on my plate.

My parents and Marcus stay quiet, not even discussing the council as they often do during dinner. Marcus clears his throat after a few moments and I see Tobias back straighten just a breath more, his posture perfectly straight.

What has happened between the two of them?

I slip my hand under the table and grasp Tobias fingers in mine. Our joined hands rest underneath the table, Tobias' hand is the rope that's keeping me tethered to sanity and Abnegation silence.

My father sets his fork down, a universal sign that he is about to speak. "We have much to discuss, shall we continue this elsewhere?"

I almost sigh in relief, Tobias needs to be in a more comfortable place. That weight on his shoulders, has now grown and consumed him. I let go of his hand and help my mother clean the table while everyone else goes to the other room.

My mother and I work quietly, but speaking a thousand words in small smiles and hushed sighs. I walk to the couch and sit next to Tobias. Keeping myself somewhat distant from him. Making sure that our skin isn't touching in any way.

My father speaks first, "Tobias I understand you have shown an...interest in my daughter." My father's jaw tightens slightly. "Marcus what are your thoughts?"

Marcus clears his throat and focuses on Tobias, "considering the age difference between the two of you, this seems an unlikely pair."

My father nods and looks towards my mother. My mother has always been supportive of me, I just hope that support continues, she smiles at Tobias and me. "I approve of this courting between Tobias and Beatrice. I feel as though they are quite a perfect match. They compliment each other much like you complimented me, Andrew."

My father smiles slightly at my mother's statement then turns back to us, "I expect that the two of you have chosen to court officially. Thus you will be recognized publicly as spoken for. I also expect that the contact involved in this relationship be...of proper Abnegation values from now on."

Marcus looks between Tobias and I with some distaste in his eyes, I wonder if that's for our relationship or Tobias? Maybe even me? "Allow Andrew, Natalie and I to discuss our opinions regarding this courtship. Please leave us to speak."

I stand as Tobias does, "well, we shall step outside to allow you to your privacy."

I follow behind Tobias, out the front door and into the yard that is perfectly trimmed, clean, and identical to everyone else's. I'm suffocating here, in this grey, in this world of sameness, in this place that stifles the real me. Tobias takes a breath next to me, I turn to him, "so? Do you think your father will agree?"

"I think that will depend on what your parents think."

I bite the inside of my cheek, "my mother thinks it's fine."

"I can tell. Your father?"

"I don't know. He wants me to be happy, and I hope he can see that you make me happy."

Tobias smiles, "I want to kiss you right now."

I feel my cheeks redden, "so do I. But we are out here in the open, we can't risk someone seeing that. Kisses are to be shared privately not publicly."

Tobias laughs quietly, "that was a direct quote from the rule they used to make us recite."

They I roll my eyes, "our kids won't have to do that." My hand flies up and covers my mouth. I look away, my eyes as wide as the moon that is beginning to hang outside. Why did I say that? This relationship might not work out? Tobias wouldn't want me for the mother of his children anyway, so why did I say that? I mentally face-palm. I got ahead of myself there.

Tobias doesn't speak, maybe he didn't hear me. I let my hand drop and turn to him, he smiles at me, "I wouldn't make them do that either."

I smile, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For saying that, it was completely out-of-place."

"Tris, I love you remember?"

"I love you to. I am sorry, I hope I didn't make you feel like I expected certain things out of this relationship if it works out in the years to come."

"Tris, I plan on spending the rest of my life with you. And if, somewhere in that time you want children. We will have them. I just want you to be happy."

I brush a piece of hair that has fallen out of my bun back, "now, I want to kiss you."

Tobias looks up at the sky, which is now melting from its milky blue to a darker purple hue, "Tris?"

"Yes?"

"Should we see if they have finished deliberating?"

I shake my head, "I like being out here. With you."

Tobias grasps my hand in his, "I don't care if they catch us, I just need to hold your hand if I can't kiss you."

I squeeze his hand, hoping he can't tell how apprehensive I am about this meeting between our parents. "I'm worried, Tobias."

"Don't be, even if my father says we can't court, I will still do it. I refuse to lose you."

I smile, "at least we have my mother on our side." I lay my head against Tobias' shoulder and watch the stars wade into the sky. I close my eyes and let myself imagine a life with Tobias.

I hear the door behind us open, I let go of Tobias hand and push my head off his shoulder. I turn around to see my mother walking to us, "we would like to speak to the two of you."

I follow her inside and sit down across from my father, Tobias stays rigid and tense. My father clears his throat, "we have discussed this courtship. We have considered the age difference between the two of you. We have also considered both of your personalities and compatibility. Your mother finds this match-up to be agreeable. She is a very perceptive woman, who brought much to the discussion. Marcus feels as though, this relationship could be quite beneficial to the council, considering that you are the children of council members although he still has many apprehensions regarding this match-up. It will send a message to Erudite that the allegations that have been presented against Abnegation are without any logical grounds. They should see that two council members and their families are the upright Abnegation we claim to be."

I look between the three adults sitting across from me, "so our courtship has been approved?"

Marcus nods solemnly, "yes, your courtship has been approved."

I fight the urge not to hug my parents, instead I look at Tobias and give him a small smile. Tobias stands and bows to my parents, "thank you."

I bow to Marcus and murmur a thank you as well. An awkward silence falls between us, none of us knowing what to say now that Tobias and I are recognized as a couple and we are to act as adults in my parents home. After a few minutes, Tobias and I excuse ourselves to go home. We walk down the sidewalk, when I hear Marcus voice behind us. "Tobias, could we speak for a moment?"

Tobias straightens his back and this new look comes over his face, he turns to me, "go home, Tris. I will see you tomorrow morning. Okay?"

"I thought you were going to stay with me tonight?" I ask. I look at Marcus, what is going on between them?

"Not tonight, I have something that came up. Just go home, get some rest, and I will walk you to work tomorrow...I love you."

"I love you to." I grasp his hand in mine and give it a small squeeze, hoping that gives him the strength he needs to speak to Marcus. It seems like the two of them have some problems.

I turn and begin my walk to my home, I wonder why Tobias has such a negative reaction to interacting with his father? Marcus always seemed nice enough, he was always the perfect Abnegation. Selfless, quiet, and well-spoken. I turn onto my street and begin to walk up the steps of my house. I swing open the door, and walk to my bedroom. It feels alone here, I am so used to having Tobias home. I change into my night-clothes, which look a lot like my normal day clothes, except these ones are tad more form-fitting. I wonder what Tobias would say if he saw me in these tighter clothes. You can actually see the outline of my hips and waist, which compared to the girls I see in Dauntless isn't much. I would look so much like a child in Dauntless, I'm almost glad Tobias and I chose to stay here in Abnegation. It is very selfish of my to think that, but compared to the girls in Dauntless Tobias would never look at me. I push those thoughts aside, he is my boyfriend now. Officially. Publicly. I smile to myself and let my hair fall out its bun.

I climb into bed and close my eyes, dreaming of my life with Tobias Eaton.

* * *

I wake up in the middle of the night and look around my room. I can't seem to sleep, I'm so happy over my parents approval of Tobias. I climb out of bed and head downstairs to get some water. I walk past the covered mirror in my home. I debate looking at my reflection. It's not very Abnegation, but I'm here in my own home. I know that no one will find out, except Tobias maybe. But he would understand, we aren't meant to be here in Abnegation.

I make up my mind, and walk towards where I know the mirror is sitting against the wall. I look around to make sure that I am truly alone, it seems unneeded, but my fear of being caught makes me check. I look around and see nothing, except a small light outside my window. I walk towards it and see one of the windows in Tobias' home is illuminated. The rest of Abnegation is asleep right now, and Tobias should be asleep right now.

What if something is wrong?

I grab my shoes and step outside. The cold wind makes me shiver, I look around and run across the street, no one in Abnegation locks their doors. I don't even know if we have locks on our doors. I focus on making sure Tobias is alright. I open the door and take my shoes off, "Tobias?"

It stays silent and my heart beat picks up, something is wrong. I can feel it. I head up the stairs and knock on his door, "Tobias?"

I hear some movement, but I don't hear his voice. I take a breath and open the door. "Tobias, I'm sorry if I woke you, but I-"

I cease speaking, my eyes widen, "oh God, Tobias." I look at the blistering red across Tobias back. Angry marks strewn down his skin, older scars blister from underneath the new ones.

He turns his head slightly, "Tris, what are you doing here?"

"I saw the light on, I wanted to make sure you were alright." I walk to the bathroom and wet a rag in cool water. I head back to Tobias, "don't speak just sit still, okay?"

Tobias nods, I gently press the rag to his back, he winces slightly, "I'm sorry."

"Tris, I told you to go home and I would see you in morning."

"Aren't you glad I didn't listen?"

"No."

I pull my hand back and almost drop the rag, "why? I'm trying to help you."

"Tris, I didn't want you to see this."

"Well, it's a bit late for that don't you think?" I wince at the spite in my voice. I just don't understand why he wouldn't trust me enough to speak to me about this. "What happened?" My voice is softer, kinder.

"I got into a fight."

I stare at him, "Tobias! A fight?"

"You should see the other guy."

I roll my eyes, I'm not amused. What happened to Tobias? "Who? Who did this to you?"

Tobias stays quiet for a while, "Marcus. He beats me. It's fine though, Tris. Please don't worry about it. I fought back."

I tighten my grip on the rag and press it to his back again, "how long?"

"Since before my mother died."

I feel anger surge within my veins, how dare he try to touch Tobias? What motivates him to hurt Tobias? A strange sense of possessiveness over Tobias forces me to feel a sense of revenge towards Marcus.

Tobias looks at me, and then gives me a smile, "thank you."

"For what?...Turn around, Tobias." He turns his back to me.

"For not looking at me like some kicked puppy, or something."

"Well your not, Tobias you are the strongest person I know."

Tobias turns to me, I frown, "turn around, Tobias."

"I just want to look at the absolutely most beautiful girl in the world. The one who somehow loves me, making me the luckiest man alive."

I blush, "thank you." I push his shoulder slightly and make him turn around. I continue to clean up his back as the cuts in his back stop bleeding it dawns on me that I just saw Tobias' back.

My heartbeat begins to pick up, I pour some solution onto the rag and make sure that his cuts are clean, "I recommend not sleeping on your back, okay?"

He nods, "Tris I know, this isn't the first time Marcus beat me."

"Why did he?"

"Because of how we went about this courtship. He doesn't really approve of you, but since your mother and father approved and made a convincing argument he was willing to allow it."

I frown, "he doesn't like me? I did this to you Tobias, if you had never been with me, this wouldn't have happened."

"I don't care if he doesn't like you or not...Tris, because of you. I fought against Marcus. I stood up for myself, that's something I haven't ever had the nerve to do. I didn't even have the nerve to transfer because of my fear of him. But when he began to speak negatively about you, something just snapped. Tris, I should be thanking you."

I shake my head slightly, "I don't think I am worth thanking."

Tobias cups my face in his hands, "you are worth everything."

He presses his lips to me and I feel my heart pounding in my ears. I pull away from him, "that was the best one yet."

Tobias smiles at me, "you should get some rest, we have work."

I stand up and put the rag in the laundry hamper, "could I stay here tonight? I know you will be sore tomorrow."

Tobias nods, I sit on the bed next to him, Tobias pulls the sheets back, "go ahead, get some sleep. I can sleep on the floor."

"No, Tobias I should sleep on the floor."

Tobias shakes his head at me, "I need to sleep on my stomach, that will be easier on a flat non-moving surface." Tobias lays down on the floor next to the bed, "goodnight Tris."

I fall asleep before I can say goodnight back.

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**Review tell me how you like this chapter.**


	6. Chapter 7

**Okay, everyone I have (in the words of the ever-entertaining Effie Trinket) "Big, big, big" plans for this story. I updated Always, and was thinking about where exactly I want to make sure this story moves. **

**And so I assure you, plot wise I have a pocket full of ideas! Okay, leave a review or PM if you ever have any thoughts or feelings (negative or positive) or anything you want to ask. I love talking to you guys, you all have such...awesome personalities! Okay, on with the chapter!**

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**Chapter 7**

The past few weeks with Tobias, have been more than amazing. They have been perfect, in every way. He is sweet, gentle, and honest. I mainly appreciate how when we are at home, I can be myself. Not Abnegation, not Dauntless, or Erudite. But me. Divergent.

Although, I have hit one snag with my relationship with Tobias. I'm beginning to realize, that certain...aspects of a relationship terrify me. I mean, completely utterly terrified. I haven't had the nerve to tell him yet, but intimacy scares me. It was a dream that made my fear known to me, and now it is lurking over my head. Teasing me, like I am some sort of coward.

My watch begins to beep and I turn towards my nightstand, I don't want to go to work. I turn and look over at Tobias. He always comes home late at night from working in the control room. I don't think working nights would be a good fit for me. I smile at him, but let him sleep.

I climb out of bed and head towards the bathroom. I grab my clothes and get ready for my day. Today, I get to go to another Faction and learn about how inter-Faction customs work. I pin my hair in a tight bun at the nape of my neck and take a glance in the mirror to make sure it looks right.

That's another thing, Tobias and I use that mirror way more than the Abnegation allow. It doesn't matter though, no one lives here but us and neither of us really belong here. I head downstairs and prepare my toast, I'm so tired of toast. I hear footsteps moving down the stairs and turn my head, "Tobias, shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I couldn't let you go without saying good morning."

I roll my eyes, "you just want my breakfast."

"Yes, because toast is worth rousing myself from sleep." His dry tone makes it obvious that he is sick of toast to.

I smile and give him a quick peck on the lips, "I am going to another faction today."

"Which one?"

"I'm hoping for Dauntless, but I will probably end up at Candor or Amity."

Tobias smirks and takes a piece of my toast out the toaster and stuffs it in his mouth, "Amity."

I frown, "probably." I spin in a quick circle, "how do I look?"

"Beautiful as usual."

I can't help the crimson painted across my cheeks even though he tells me how beautiful I am all the time. Tobias seems so different with me, he is more romantic than I would expect. Normally, outside the house he keeps proper distance, he is quiet and holds an authority that is very uncharacteristic for Abnegation. I wonder if he would be this...romantic if we were in Dauntless? Would he be cold or distant, or would he be exactly like he now. Sweet and loving.

I look at my watch, "I have to go," I kiss Tobias one last time, "Love you."

Tobias smiles, "I love you, too."

* * *

My father bows as I approach, I force my smile off my face because not only was I here on time. I seem to have impeccable timing and I take a lot of pride in that. "Good morning Beatrice."

"Good morning, Father. I am looking forward to learning more about working with those from other Factions."

"That is good to hear." My father leads me to his office and sets a folder down on the desk, "today we are going to Amity."

I stifle the groan that is sitting in the back of my throat threatening to force it's way out. "Alright."

My father smiles at me, "all we are going to do today is see when it would be beneficial for the Abnegation to help Amity with the harvest."

I let out a small sigh, "alright." The original excitement I had deflates from me. Amity, picking fruit, that sounds about as dry as the toast I ate this morning.

My father looks at me for a moment, "I know it is not the most entertaining faction to be in, but it is selfish of you to want entertainment. Entertainment is pleasure."

I keep my face indifferent, "I am sorry Father."

"It's alright. Come we have much to do today."

It is going to be a very, very long day.

* * *

Amity is beautiful. The trees are almost crawling along the farms landscape. I look around in awe, trees hang over my head, bright fruit just a stretch away. If I had known Amity was so beautiful, I would have asked to come here when I first began to work under my father and he had a meeting with Amity.

I wouldn't enjoy it if I transferred here though. I cannot smile like that all the time. As a matter of fact, I usually wear a half-scowl. Abnegation does that to a person, your face starts to contort into a steady and firm straight face. Somehow mine developed into a half-scowl.

We walk up the steps of Amity's headquarters, which is lined with windows so they can see the lovely view they have. I follow behind my father as a woman with dark hair and a scar running from her eye to chin approaches. She is blind it seems in one eye, but it doesn't seem to bother her. She smiles at us and gives us a relaxed bow, "Andrew, how nice it is to see you."

"Yes, Johanna it is quite nice to see you once again. Johanna Reyes meet my daughter Beatrice."

Johanna bows to me, "Beatrice it is very nice to meet you as well. Andrew you can begin speaking with the members who represent the harvest, they are awaiting you. Beatrice would you like to tour Amity with me?"

I look to my father, who gives me a small smile, "you should learn the Faction customs of Amity. I trust that you will learn much from Johanna."

My father is escorted by another Amity member and disappears down a hall. The yellow and red clothing is almost blinding to me, in stark contrast from the dull grey. Johanna smiles at me, "so you had your choosing ceremony this year?"

"Yes."

Johanna nods, "here in Amity. We believe in peace over all else. As I am sure you are aware. We will strive for not only peace, but neutrality in terms of our feeling towards many of the other Faction politics."

I smile and look around, "it is very beautiful here."

"Yes, it is. I am glad you like it. How was initiation?"

I forget that here in Amity, she can ask personal questions. "It was fine, thank you." I follow Johanna through out the building, never asking questions. As a proper Abnegation, but answering every question posed to me. I think Tobias would like it here, it is just so...different from Abnegation. Johanna looks at me, "you are welcome to visit Amity any time you would like. Abnegation and Amity have many of the same values and ideas, thus we work well together and accept one another with kindness."

"Thank you...I think my boyfriend would like it here." I almost wince at how I have slipped up, I am not supposed to speak very openly about my relationship with Tobias. It isn't proper, since not only is physical contact powerful but also words.

Johanna seems slightly surprised at my candor, "you have a boyfriend?"

Pink brushes my cheeks, I look down, "yes."

"May I ask what his name is?"

"Tobias," I smile at look up at the trees around me.

Johanna looks around, "he must be a very special boy to have you."

I look up at her, "I don't think I understand."

Johanna rubs her chin, "Tobias must be special, is all. You seem to be such a sweet girl, he must be special."

I nod, "he is. Very."

Johanna picks and apple and passes it to me, "you love him?"

"I do."

Johanna squeezes my arm, "I'm glad to hear it. Here in Amity we find love so very fascinating."

"Oh." I look at the apple and take a bite from it, sweet juice fills my mouth. "That was delicious!"

Johanna laughs, "yes these apples are just now ripening, this is when they are the best to me."

I smile, "thank you. That was truly a special gift."

Johanna seems to be a friend I can have. She is nice and open. She doesn't press me for answers, but the thing I like most is how she is not Abnegation. She isn't stiff and rigid, but open, she reminds me of my mother. I wonder if I will make friends when I visit Dauntless or Candor. I wish I could go to Erudite, to at least see Caleb, but they will not allow us access to their Faction. It seems as though, relationships between Abnegation and Erudite continue to become strained. "Maybe you can come back here this week, as a Faction ambassador you have to learn how to communicate with the other factions. I'm sure you will learn many things from Amity." Johanna says.

"Yes, I think I will." I must bring Tobias here to Amity, despite how happy they are, which is becoming more and more unnatural as I pass by a members with wide smiles on their faces. Johanna leads me through part of a farm and I hear someone call my name. I turn around and can't help the smile that breaks out on my face, "Robert!"

Robert walks to me and encircles me in a tight hug, I stand rigid not used to being touched by anyone except Tobias. "Hello, Beatrice." He stands back and holds my shoulders in his hands, "how are you?"

"I am fine. How are you Robert?"

"I am excellent. How long are you here?"

"I am not sure. It was nice to see you Robert."

Robert seems somewhat dissatisfied with my reaction, but I am Abnegation. I can't hug him back, I can't ask about how his initiation went, or if he has found a girlfriend her in Amity. Robert smiles, "yes it was nice to see you. Beatrice, how is Susan?"

"She is fine." I lie, I haven't seen Susan very often now that we are adults. She lives near me, but since I spend my time at work or at the Pier with Tobias I don't see her very often. Robert nods, "that is good to hear."

I bow, "goodbye Robert."

Robert nods, "goodbye, Beatrice."

I turn and walk with Johanna for the rest of the day in a light and comfortable silence.

* * *

When I return home, I toss my shoes into the corner and untie my hair, "Tobias?"

"In the kitchen."

I turn the corner and am find myself already wrapped in Tobias arms, "how was your day?"

"Nothing much, just in the Factionless sector today."

I raise my eyebrows, "Factionless?"

Tobias turns and takes out two plates and cups, "yes, just some...work."

"Oh...Well, I went to Amity today."

"Told you so," Tobias turns and searches the cabinet for anything new.

"It was amazing, Tobias. It is just breathtaking there. And everyone was so nice."

"It's creepy, actually."

"Okay, well excuse me for trying to be..._kind _toward Amity."

Tobias looks at me, "what did they do to you?"

I laugh, "nothing, it was just so nice to be free of the grey, even if it was for a little while. Johanna said you could come with me to Amity at any time. I am welcome there. I will take you, there were these fantastic trees that reaches the sky it seemed and apples and various fruit were everywhere. And I saw Robert there to, all in red of course-"

Tobias stops me, "Robert?" I can hear something new in his voice. Something I haven't ever heard before.

"Yes, Robert Black."

"And what exactly did Robert say?"

"Is someone jealous?" I tease Tobias and out the peas on the stove.

"I just want to make sure this Robert Black isn't trying to take you from me."

I smile, "no one is going to take me from you. Especially not Robert Black."

Tobias kisses my cheek and then my neck, I giggle. Tobias pulls back, incredulously staring at me, "did you just giggle?"

"Tobias." I warn, he knows I hate it when he brings up some of the girly and embarrassing things I do.

"What did those Amity do to you?"

I smile, "dinner is going to burn. Come on." We eat dinner on the couch, I love having my own home. I especially enjoy letting my hair down and walking around in my pajamas. I curl up next to Tobias and let him stroke my hair as he tells me a story. I slip into sleep from the steady sound of Tobias voice.

* * *

"Tris?"

I blink a few times, I hear my name again but his breath is vibrating into my temple. "Tris?"

I look up, "is it morning already?"

"No, Tris. We need to go now."

"What?"

Tobias sits me up, "get up. We need to go. Now."

I look at him, "Tobias, what are you talking about?" I hear a scream and a few loud pops. I turn to him "what was that?"

"Gun shots, Tris. Let's go." He takes my hand and pulls me towards the back door.

"Gun shots? Tobias I don't have shoes."

"Tris, we don't have time. Come on." Tobias pulls me out the door and we lean against the wall, I see figures around the corner.

"Tobias, my parents." I pull him in the direction of my parents. I hear a few more screams and pops. This has to be a nightmare.

It has to be a nightmare.

I hear another shout cut off from a shot. I shutter, who is doing this? I feel my heartbeat pulsing through my body, I push myself faster, gripping tightly onto Tobias hand. I have to get to my parents, I have to make sure that they are okay. I have to help them.

I can do this, I am Divergent. I got Dauntless and Erudite. I need to be smart and be brave.

I have to be brave.

* * *

**Okay we are at the war in Erudite. The question is what happens next? This is an AU so...SURPRISES!**


	7. Chapter 8

**Okay, so I had a dream that may alter the plot of this story, but I want your input. (READ ON IF YOU READ ALWAYS MY OTHER FIC)**

**So I had this dream, where Nikki was born in the middle of this whole faction thing. How different would her life be if she grew up involved in the factions, or with Tris as her mother? **

**Am I just delusional and sleep-deprived or would you honestly like to have a few of my OC that are in my other fic in this story? Let me know in the reviews or PM me. I think it could be cool, but if not I can totally keep going the way I have already written.**

**I'm in a Rock genre mood today. Yesterday it folk-blues, and Thursday it was Country. I think tomorrow it will be rap and R&B. I can't tell yet. **

**I'm currently rocking out to Green Day (Holiday), Theory of a Deadman (Little Smirk), and My Chemical Romance (Famous Last Words), so it might be the music to listen to as you read this. It adds...something special to the chapter for me. **

**Also have you guys heard of this awesome Australian Duo, Angus and Julia Stone, they are fan-freaking-tastic and I love their music. **

* * *

**Chapter 8**

My feet pound against the pavement as we run to my parents home. I turn the corner and pull Tobias with me. I press myself against the wall and look around the corner to see a small crowd of Dauntless march with guns in their hands. As they march into houses, I see women being dragged by their hair and gunned down in front of the house. If I was in Dauntless would I be a part of this?

If I was in Dauntless would I be able to stop this?

I cover my mouth to stifle a scream, I remember the goal in mind, I have to save my parents.

I open the back door and head towards my parents room. Up the stairs to the left. I walk up and hear the front door being pounded on. I have to hurry. My parents thankfully locked the front door. I thrust open the door to their room.

No one is here.

Another pound.

I run down the stairs and outside, "they aren't here."

Tobias sighs, "we have to keep moving maybe they are somewhere safe with others who have escaped."

I nod, refusing myself to imagine their motionless bodies in the grass stained with deep crimson blood. Tobias takes my hand and we run past a few more houses when I see a blur of grey run into an alley. I follow it, hoping that maybe it will be someone who can tell me where my parents are.

"Mother?" I whisper.

My mother stands backed against the wall and looks at me, "Beatrice you need to go, now."

"Mother, come with us. We can make it." I hear the marching grow louder. They are approaching.

Tobias looks at my mother, "please Mrs. Prior, come with us. Tris we need to hurry, the Dauntless are getting closer."

"They will kill all of us if we run, I will stay and distract them. Go, Tobias keep her safe."

I can see the internal fight going on within Tobias eyes. "You two leave, I can hold them off."

My mother smiles, and kisses both Tobias and I on the cheek, "take care of her, Tobias." I watch my mother run and grab a gun that was lying in the street next to a body slumped on the ground.

I blink. Everything is happening at once, the screaming pounding into my ears, the gunshots blurring together. My mother, the Dauntless,more gunshots are fired, screams, deafening screams. I begin to let out my own scream, to mix with the others and melt into the air. Tobias hand covers my mouth, as I cry and thrash out.

A blur of red. I watch her frame covered in a blur of red, her knees sinking into the pavement. Her head slamming into the ground, a sea of crimson consuming her body.

She can't be dead. I have to help her, if I get there fast enough I can save her. I kick against the solid body holding me back and dragging me away. I let out a muffled yell and soon tears blur my sight and I go still. The strength that was just forcing me to fight has drained from me, like my mother's blood.

She is dead. I let Tobias guide me away, I don't pay attention to where I am going, I just keep replaying it over and over again. There was so much blood, how was there that much blood in her?

I finally feel the pressure on my arms, I assume Tobias hands dragging me away from my mother's body, leave. I look up and everything I ate this morning threatens to reappear. I collapse onto my hands and knees and retch onto the pavement. Someone holds my hair back, but I can only focus on the searing pain in my throat.

I cough a few times and sit on my heels, Tobias stands next to me looking for something. I pull my sleeve up and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. I look at the broken glass surrounding me and the smashed windows next to me. We are in the Factionless sector.

"Tobias, why are we here?" My voice is hoarse and weak.

"We are meeting someone who could help us."

I stand up and follow Tobias closely. I always getting an awful feeling in Factionless, especially ever since that man stopped me on the day of my Aptitude test. Who could Tobias possibly know here? Especially someone who can help us?

I normally ask Tobias, but judging by how serious his face is. I choose to ask him later. I see a few people walking. I press into Tobias.

Tobias stops near what to me is a random door and knocks a few times, a man with an eye-patch opens the door. If you could call it a door, it's more of a piece of wood that has been eaten by time and weather. Tobias looks at him, "I need to see Evelyn."

Evelyn? I feel some jealousy coursing through my veins. The name sounds oddly familiar and as a result, I get even more jealous. Is this what he was doing in the Factionless?

I don't really notice what Tobias and the man with the eye-patch are saying because of the confusing emotions stirring inside of me. Sadness, anger, jealousy, pain, hope, fear. I feel every emotion crashing into a new one and my heart beat starts to muddle into the odd feelings I am having. I follow him inside, cots line the floor and empty cans are tossed about without a care. I take Tobias hand, painfully aware of how far I am from home. We pass by Factionless and their faces begin to blur together, I stop paying attention to everything around me and focus on the support from Tobias that I am feeling. His strength is my strength as I struggle to keep tethered to reality. The events of today hit in waves, at some points I begin to wonder if this is some kind of simulation.

Except, I'm Divergent.

Before I know it, I hear my name and snap back to reality. A woman, with an almost regal air about her stands in front of me, dark hair and piercing eyes almost black in color. Much like Tobias own deep blue eyes.

The connection is made, and I force myself to keep a straight face. Tobias looks at the woman, "Beatrice, this is Evelyn Johnson. My mother."

His mother? Isn't she supposed to be dead? I don't even try to bow my head, much like I would have if this was a normal day. I don't care about being Abnegation, since it seems the Dauntless has wiped us out. I realize quickly that Tobias called me Beatrice.

I don't care about keeping up this act of being Abnegation any longer, since my faction is now one on the brink of extinction. "It's Tris."

Evelyn looks at me, then looks at my hand intertwined with Tobias. I have a deep feeling that the relationship between Evelyn and I is not going to go as smoothly as I think Tobias will like. Evelyn nods, "Tris."

I look at Tobias, and can see how tired he looks, I must look a million times worse. I lost my mother today, I have no idea where my father is. I look to Evelyn, "do you know why the Dauntless attacked Abnegation?"

Evelyn looks at me, "we will discuss this later." She begins to walk away.

Tobias doesn't move, "answer her question."

Evelyn looks at us, her lips pressed into a firm line, "we have reason to believe that the Erudite had something to do with it."

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"You are very curious for an Abnegation."

I cock my head to the side and raise my eyebrows, "you are very secretive for a Factionless." It's true, she shouldn't be questioning me, I am the one who fed her and her people for years with my work. She shouldn't really have any secrets, or let alone what looks to me, to be some kind of society within the Factionless.

Evelyn looks at Tobias, then to me, "we sent a few people out when we got news of the attack. We saw Jeanine Matthews among the leaders of the Dauntless."

"Erudite's leader?" I ask, what about Caleb? Does he know about this? I need to get to Erudite and find Caleb, he must know what is going on.

Evelyn nods once again, "you must be tired. Follow me."

We follow her and she shows us to a small corner with a cot and hands us a can of food, I look at it with distaste. I don't want to eat anything ever since I threw up everything. Tobias kisses my forehead, "we will figure this out, Tris."

"We need to get to Erudite, to figure out what is going on."

"Or we can find someone who does know." He says.

"Like who? The only people who would know something is a Dauntless soldier, a member of Erudite, or Jeanine herself."

"Then we will have to get one of them."

I stand up, "let's go."

"Tris, get some rest and we can sort out a plan later."

I turn to Tobias, "my brother is somewhere in Erudite, unaware of my mother..." I blink back tears and focus, "my father, I don't know if he is dead or alive. I need answers. I can't just sit here and do nothing."

Tobias bites his lip, "alright, we will go when everyone falls asleep."

I sigh, "thank you."

I sit down next to Tobias and lean my head against his shoulder, "I love you."

"I love you."

I stare out the window and try to forget being selfless. And start being brave.


	8. Chapter 9

**Dear Finnick you guys all saw Jimmy Kimmel last night right? With Shaliene Woodley and Theo James?**

**THEY SHOWED THE WORLD PREMIERE OF THE TRAILER! I literally SCREAMED and am still screaming...**

**On a sadder note, Phillip Seymour Hoffman passed away on Sunday, and while he will be missed as an actor (and for most of us who are younger and have seen only his more recent movies) will miss him as Plutarch Heavensbee from Catching Fire, I feel like we as fans seem to forget the most important thing. Besides, being a talented actor and friend to others, he was a husband and father to three kids. To me, we should be remembering him not for his skill as an actor, but for the more important role he had as a father and husband. In the end, they are the ones that will have to live on without him, while the rest of us won't be impacted nearly as deeply. Oh well, that's my small and not very well written words on Phillip Seymour Hoffman. **

**Now onto lighter notes, as promised chapter 9.**

**I don't own Divergent or it's characters...although I hope to write characters just as memorable and loved. :)**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

I stare out the broken glass window, waiting for the Factionless breathing to mingle together into one steady sound. I feel Tobias breath against the back of my neck, he is awake, but resting. I shift slightly and from the corner of my eye, I can see Tobias's eyes closed shut, his lips slightly parted. Despite how relaxed he seems, I can see the worry and concern etched into his face.

A cold breeze blows through the window and I snuggle closer to Tobias, hoping that maybe if we just lay here long enough, I can make sense of the life we have been thrown into.

Things were going perfectly, just absolutely perfect. Tobias and I were happy, a little strangled by Abnegation's life, but we were happy with each other. I turn to face Tobias, and press a light kiss to the tip of his nose.

"Tris?"

I smile, "yes?"

Tobias opens his eyes and stares at me, his eyes are such a memorizing blue. I twist my fingers into his hair, staring intently at his eyes, "I love you, Tobias."

He smirks and kisses my cheek, "I love you, Tris."

"No matter what happens, we will make it through this. Right?"

"Of course, Tris. I love you remember?"

I grin and press my lips to Tobias's and let myself get lost in this brief moment of peace. The sound of footsteps forces me to pull away from Tobias, "Tobias, we have some visitors. Now that you have chosen to find refuge here among the Factionless, my offer still stands."

I look at Tobias, I almost forgot to speak to him about his mother's existence when she was supposed to be dead, but now I need answers. The fact that there was an 'offer' and I do not have the slightest idea as to what that means warrants some kind of explanation. I flash Tobias a slight glare and he seems to understand.

Tobias looks at Evelyn, "give us a moment?"

Evelyn scowls and steps away speaking quietly to the man with the eye-patch. I sit up from the makeshift bed we are lying on, "Tobias, what is she talking about? What offer?" I shake my head, "no, first things first, how is she even alive?"

Tobias sighs and runs a hand through his hair, "we can talk about my mother being alive later, I would rather discuss that when we are alone...The offer she made, was for me to come join the Factionless a little while back. She was offered me a place here among them."

"And you didn't go? What about Marcus?" I feel a small pang of distress at the thought of living my life without Tobias.

"I met you."

I feel my cheeks warm, "you stayed for me?"

"Of course, Tris. I love you." He brushes my hair back and then looks towards were Evelyn is. Evelyn looks towards us, making her way back to Tobias and I.

"Have you come to a decision?"

Tobias looks at me, "yes."

"Then come, we have someone we need to speak to."

"Tris is coming."

Evelyn frowns, "why?"

"She is my girlfriend, she is perceptive, I trust her as much as myself. She is another pair of eyes more observant than mine."

Evelyn rests her hands on her hips, "fine."

Tobias takes my hand and we follow Evelyn through a hall and down a flight of steps, we come to, what I assume was a lobby, but is now a large broken room of shattered materials. Evelyn turns to us, "are you aware of the Divergent?"

I tense, the word said aloud feels dangerous and deadly. I feel like a target has been painted onto my back, the words labeled on my forehead, so the whole world can know that I am Divergent. Divergent in my mind is synonymous with dead. Evelyn looks between the two of us, "you are safe to speak here."

Tobias is the first to open his mouth, "yes we are aware."

"Then you understand that they cannot be controlled?"

"Yes," I say.

Evelyn sits down in a dusty chair, that looks about ready to collapse, "the Dauntless were under simulation. Do you have an idea of who put the simulation in Dauntless?"

The wheels in my head turn for a few moments, "by Erudite." I shut my mouth as my lips finish forming the words.

Evelyn looks directly at me, "and how did you have that information?"

Her voice was a little to hostile for my liking, the Dauntless part of my Divergence seems to be coming out, I tilt my chin up in defiance to Evelyn, "it seemed simple enough. You already stated that Erudite had something to do with it, and since the Erudite manufacture the serums it would make since for them to be the ones who created it."

Tobias crosses his arms, "so Erudite did this? How can you know for sure? This all just speculation, Evelyn."

"That is why you are here. We received a Divergent member of Dauntless who was aware during the simulation."

I clench my teeth together, there was a Divergent in Dauntless? Why didn't he stop the attack? Why didn't he try to save anyone? How many other Divergents were in Dauntless? Could they have stopped the attack, they could have saved lives. I can sense by Tobias posture that he is having the same thoughts as me.

If they did something, my mother could still be alive.

She hasn't even been gone a day, and I haven't been able to properly mourn her. The sadness is much like a wave, crashing upon me all at once, then ebbing away slowly, soon it's just a dull lap over me. Then it will come crashing upon me all over again. And my father? I don't know where he is or if he is even alive. Caleb? Could he have stopped this? Did he know about this serum from Erudite?

I hear my name, and force myself to focus on the task at hand. My mourning can wait, my pain can be ignored, right now I need to focus on the now.

I turn to Evelyn, "we don't have much time, it seems. Why don't we meet this Divergent?"

Evelyn crosses the room and opens a door, I follow Tobias inside and see a boy with dark skin and curly black hair standing against the wall. His clothes are black, Dauntless, rumpled and creased from strenuous activity. He is covered in sweat and grime, dried blood across his knuckles and hands. A gun strapped to his back.

I feel Tobias grip on my hand subside, then feel the pressure of his arm on my waist, protective to say the least. Evelyn looks between us, "Tobias, Tris, this is Uriah."

Uriah steps forward and begins to offer his hand, then thinks better of it and steps back, "hello."

Could he have saved my mother? _Focus, Tris, just focus. Breath. _"Hello," I keep my voice even. What am I supposed to say?

Tobias seems to have a few questions, so I let him speak first, "so this was simulation?"

Uriah sighs in relief at some of the tension between the three of us being lessened, "yeah. Their eyes were glazed over, they were mindless to me, they didn't recognize what they were doing. It was as like someone had just kicked them out of their heads and taken control."

"And you weren't affected because you're...Divergent?" Tobias whispers the word out in more of a question. Like he is unsure of what a Divergent is, or that he is sure that upon uttering the words aloud we will be found. As if it still could get us killed.

Which it can, that word has power, it deserves to be whispered silently. Or not said at all.

Uriah nods, "I'm Divergent, which means that-"

"We know what it means," I snap.

Uriah looks at me, "you do? You understand it?"

"Of course." I stop myself from continuing, Evelyn doesn't need to know about my secrets. She isn't entitled to anything regarding my life, so I decide to keep this to myself. Tobias loosens his grip on my hip, a sign that he must find something in Uriah that seems trustworthy. "Is the simulation still going?" I ask.

"Yes, they..." he takes a breath, "they have...someone in the control room who can work the simulation. Our leaders made sure to have someone who could run the simulation on the computers with some ease."

"So the leaders were the ones who agree to help do this with Erudite. Who is in the control room?" Tobias questions.

"My brother, Zeke...He, he is under simulation too, it's just he is the one who holds the controls."

"If we stop him, we stop the simulation," I feel a plan formulating in my mind.

Tobias looks at Evelyn, "could we all speak privately?"

Evelyn says no with a firm shake of her head, Tobias looks at me, "we have to help them stop the simulation."

"Then what?" I look down at the floor, "Erudite will have to pay for this action. They _murdered _Abnegation by using the Dauntless as puppets. The Dauntless have to wake up from this, how will the other factions react? How will the newly awakened Dauntless react? They might agree with the decisions that their leaders made. If they do, then two factions murdered Abnegation, how ill Amity and Candor feel?" My mind is beginning to buzz from everything that is happening right now. I take a few deep breaths.

Tobias paces, concentration written on his face, "we need to stop the simulation."

"No, we need to go to Erudite, we should go the source of the simulation serum." I spit back.

Tobias looks at me, "Tris now that we know how to stop the attack directly, let's stop it."

"If we do that we are treating the symptom not the cause. We can probably stop the simulation and destroy any other serums in Erudite. Find the leader of Erudite and make them pay for this!"

Tobias presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose, "Tris, going to Erudite would be a suicide mission."

"Not if we were smart about it, Tobias."

"Tris, we can't fight. We have no weapons, no idea what we are looking for. Instead, we go to Dauntless control room stop the simulation. Regroup here and decide how to handle the people who caused the attack."

Uriah speaks up, "I think that what we should do is stop the simulation from the control room. Come back here, wait for the Dauntless to wake up from the simulation. Then go from there."

I stay quiet and look at Tobias, Evelyn smirks proudly. She thinks that one fight, no not a fight, disagreement will split us apart?

"That sounds fine," I turn on my heels and walk out into the lobby. I slip outside into the cold air, this whole attack is messing with my head.

I need to focus, channel all of my thoughts to stopping this simulation. I hear someone behind me and whip around, expecting Tobias.

Instead it's Evelyn, "hello, Evelyn."

"Tris."

"Can I help you?"

"I feel like you should be aware of the fact that you are not a permanent fixture in Tobias's life. That should be very obvious given the events of a few moments ago."

"Tobias and I love each other. I won't be going anywhere, any time soon."

"You are an irreplaceable girlfriend, you will go away at some point. I'm his mother, I won't go anywhere. "

"But you did go. You left him to be beat by Marcus. You are not his mother, yes you gave birth to him, but you didn't love him or care about him like most mothers do." I feel tears sting my eyes at the mention of my mother, I wipe them away, " I love him, and I won't just leave him like you did. I am here for him no matter what, you don't even deserve to have him as a son Evelyn. He is intelligent, and kind, and honest, and brave, and sweet, and loving, and just absolutely perfect. I am truly sorry you didn't get to see him grow into such an amazing person...And...And I love him, and I am not just going to disappear on him when times get hard. "

Evelyn stares back at me, I cross my arms and look away. I hear her footsteps grow faint. I release a breath, letting all the stress of my brief conversation with Evelyn fade away. I take another breath, I feel the air shift around me, "Tobias?"

Tobias stands next to me and put his hands in his pockets, "I heard what you said to my mother..."

"Were you mad?"

"Why would I be angry?"

"Well, I did say some things to your mother that you may not have approved of."

"Tris," Tobias looks at me, "I love you. My mother deserved that." Tobias kisses me lightly on the lips and looks back. "We should go inside. We need to get to Dauntless soon."

* * *

**Review, let me know what you think. Especially on this whole Nikki thing, I am so confused. **


	9. Chapter 10

**Hey sorry, it's unedited. Review!**

* * *

**Chapter 10**

Uriah looks over Tobias, "you are kind of thin. You could use some muscle, but you're tall. You run?"

Tobias smirks, "whenever I get the opportunity."

Uriah twirls a knife between his fingers, I watch carefully as it twists and turns between his hand and never once makes contact with his skin, but the blade comes alarmingly close. How is he so comfortable with this? Would I be this comfortable with it, if I was in Dauntless? Uriah glances at me, "you're small."

I rest my hands on my hips, "small doesn't mean deficient."

Uriah puts his hands up in mock surrender, "apparently it means feisty...I am going to give you each a gun and a knife. We don't have much time, we need to stop that simulation. You guys strike me as rule breakers, what's the worst rule you have broken, for all I know you are a proper Abnegation couple by day, hooded vigilantes at night."

Tobias chuckles and I struggle to keep a straight face, "well, Tobias stays over at my house or I at his," Uriah wiggles his eyebrows at me and I scoff, "not in that way. The worst I think we have done is glance in the mirror before we head off to work in the morning."

Uriah's jaw drops, "you aren't allowed to look in the mirror?"

"Only for getting our hair cut, any other time besides that it is considered selfish."

Uriah looks between Tobias and I, "why didn't you leave?"

I tip my chin up, "we considered it." I rock on my heels, "we don't have a lot of time."

Uriah nods, "thanks for the reminder. I will give you a quick lesson on guns and knives and hopefully you can manage yourselves." He passes me his gun, I stare at it wide eyed and worried I might shoot it on accident, this is a powerful weapon if not used with certain kill, and dare I say finesse. "Don't worry, Tris, it's loaded."

My mother was killed with a gun just like this. My breathing picks up, I watch her body fall in a blur of red, the way her body hit the pavement lifeless. How her head just snapped into the ground without a single sound. I feel tears pressing out my eyes and streaming down my cheeks. I am holding the very weapon that killed my mother. I am learning how to kill someone, take them away just like a soldier took my mother. What would she think?

I can't do this. I can't do this, I can't do this. I finally break down, "I can't do this!" I crumble to my knees, holding tightly onto the gun and sobbing into my scratchy grey shirt. "I'm so sorry, Mother. I am so sorry..."

Tobias lifts my chin, I sob into his chest and wrap my arms around his neck. I feel him pry my hand off the gun and sets it down, "Tris, you don't have to do this."

I can't do this...But I have to, my father is out there. My brother, other innocent and scared Abnegation are out there. Hopping that someone will save them, that someone will care, that things will get better. I can't let my mother's death have been in vain, I shake my head, "I have to."

"Tris, are you sure?" I nod my head and Tobias sighs, "Just...stop if you can't okay? Don't push yourself." He kisses my temple and whispers, "I love you. I believe in you. I trust your decision."

I nod and take the gun back. I adjust my fingers to the trigger, my other hand being a support. I raise it and Uriah adjusts my posture, "shoot that can right there. Well, try." Uriah points to a can nestled in the window sill surrounded by already broken glass fragments. I adjust the gun and take a shot.

I miss.

I stumble back slightly shocked at the momentum caused by pulling the trigger. Uriah raises his eyebrows, "good thing I am doing this now, huh?"

I scowl and push myself onto my feet and stand in position again, I take a few fake shots before actually pulling the trigger. I raise the barrel and stare just above the can, I take a breath.

Breath. Pull Trigger. Breath. Recoil. Breath.

The sound of the bullet piercing the wall surrounding the window brings me back to focus. Uriah rests a hand on my shoulder, "you hit something. Try again."

My shot was to the left, I need to correct that. I remember learning about momentum and direction in school, I try to recall how the math can help me shoot on target. I aim my gun upwards slightly and more towards the right, counting on my tendency to shoot left and down to even out my miscalculation. Taking another breath I pull the trigger.

Bullseye.

Uriah claps excitedly, "your turn Tobias." He reminds me of a small child at times. I wonder if we would have been friends if we were in Dauntless?

Tobias takes the gun from my hands and aims it, his first shot nicks the can. I stand mouth agape behind him, "Tobias? How did you do that?"

He shrugs, "lucky shot." He aims and misses. I watch him take a moment to evaluate the situation carefully, he finally turns and adjust himself. I watch his chest rise and fall as he prepares to take the shot.

He blows a whole right through the center. Uriah pats his back, "you guys should have switched. You would have definitely made it passed Initiation. Maybe even got a rank in the top 3."

"What happens if you don't pass?" I ask.

Uriah looks around, "Factionless."

I couldn't be Factionless, I don't like the idea of not belonging, of not having some type of family, some type of life with purpose. I need to stand for something. Abnegation or Dauntless, it's a place in a society. Tobias sets the gun on the table, "what about the knives?"

Uriah pulls four onto the table, "grab one." Uriah takes one and throws it into a piece of Grey fabric clung to the wall without a second thought.

I grasp the knife, balancing it in my the palm of my hand, realizing the power I hold within my hands. I test the weight of the knife and then set it on the ground beneath me. I throw an imaginary knife at the pieces of scrap clothing pinned to the wall, which serve as targets. I do this a few times, and once I feel prepared reach down and pick up a knife. It sails through the air plunging into a piece of Erudite blue fragment.

I smirk, step away, allowing Tobias room to try. Instead of practicing throwing the knives, Tobias shifts his arm back and launches the knife forward. It hits the yellow of Amity without a single miss. Tobias was meant to be Dauntless, he just watched me throw knives and Uriah throw one, he picked up on it quickly. He takes the last knife and sends it into the Erudite blue fabric and comes breaths away from my knife. Uriah looks us over, "fair to say you would have passed Initiation...We need to go, now that I know you can protect yourselves. There should be some guns lying around from soldiers who somehow are incapacitated or dead. No one was really ever fighting back, but Eric hates certain people and took them out knowing how they couldn't fight him back."

"Eric?" Tobias questions.

"That's one of our leaders. A sadistic...pansycake. Change into something black from the Factionless, if you look Dauntless and mindless they won't question us. In that grey you have targets literally on your back."

I start sifting through the dirt and trash lining the floor of the room we are in. I come across a large black shirt and toss it to Tobias along with a pair of dark jeans. I force myself to continue going through the scattered litter instead of allowing my eyes to wander over Tobias. I finally find a pair of jeans that I hope fit and a long sleeved shirt that I know will be to large for me. I turn to the boys, "I am going to change now."

Uriah nods and continues looking at me, Tobias growls and hits Uriah in the head and turns him around. Both boys stand with their backs to me as I change as quickly as possible. The pants hang off my hips and I find a piece of fabric and use it as a belt, rolling the sleeves up but the shirt clings to my body in a way that almost makes me feel naked. Hopefully the belt ensures that my pants won't fall to the ground and I won't look too out of place. "You can turn around now."

Tobias look at me and smiles. I feel my cheeks warm at the fact that he can now see every curve of my body, not that there are that many. Uriah snickers, "okay you guys can flirt or whatever the Abengation call this process of smiling at each other...When you guys smile at each other does that make you married?"

"No, it does not." I snap, Tobias laughs under his breath. He kisses me for a brief moment, but within it, full of passion and love and this new tingling bubbles forth form my stomach.

Uriah gasps, "you guys kiss like that?"

Tobias quirks an eyebrow at Uriah, "how do you think all these little Abnegation kids get here?"

Uriah nods as if Tobias has just told him why the sky is blue, "well there are a lot of them, so that is a valid point."

"We need to go, boys." I strap the knife Uriah gave us to the inside of my belt as we head outside into the cold air. We walk to the trains, "jump on," Uriah hollers from the left of me.

I follow his lead and run along the train, Tobias barely makes it in, I jump on and Tobias has to pull me inside the train car. "That was amazing!" I scream against the wind.

Tobias laughs and so does Uriah, we enjoy the cold wind and I focus on trying to imagine my life doing this. Forget about my mother for a moment and focus on this exhilarating feeling that being on this train gets me. My hands are a little red from jumping onto the train, but it was worth it for this feeling of freedom. We come to a stack of buildings, Uriah stands at the door and motions for us to jump.

The thought of jumping from the train to the roof of the building excites me, but Tobias clearly is not as excited as I am. His face looks about as scared as mine looks excited for anticipation. I take his hand, "we will jump together." I yell.

We near the rooftop and Uriah jumps, I pull Tobias along with me and crash into the gravel on the roof. My palms red and bleeding from the rocks scraped across my hands, Tobias dusts himself off, his jaw tight. I can't help the laughter that is consuming me. I just laugh, that was insane. Amazing and insane and absolutely freeing. Uriah smiles and jumps off the roof. My eyes widen and then I hear his voice at the bottom. There must be something there to catch us, from here it looks like a bottomless abyss. Tobias swallows, "you are afraid of heights?"

"I didn't know I was until now."

I smile and press a kiss to his cheek, "together?"

He takes my hand, I count to three and laugh as we plunge through the air landing into a net, cradled in safety. Tobias gets off first, he offers his hand to pull me off. I stop laughing as Uriah hands us a gun, "I don't know who is in here or who we will face. If this should be the day I die, it was a pleasure meeting you. You're not have bad...for stiffs."

Uriah looks around, "I am heading to the control room, I need your help to get in."

We nod and follow him through a large opening in the compound.

Tobias leans over and whispers, "welcome to Dauntless."

Despite, the situation, I find myself smiling.


	10. Chapter 11

**Chapter-11**

Tobias and I walk through the compound, Uriah turns to us, "stay here at the chasm and stand guard. I don't think anyone is here in the compound, since all the action was in Abnegation and the mind behind this all was in Erudite. If you hear anything, like my pained screams or dying cries, try and help save me. You know, if it fits into your schedule and all." He heads towards what I assume is the control room.

I nod, and look into the chasm, the rushing cold water splashing against my feet. "It's amazing, Tobias."

Tobias peers over the rail, "it is."

Pressing my fingers to the railing, my mind lapses into the thought of Tobias and I possibly having a life here. Tobias fingers grasp mine, "things are changing Tris."

"I know," the chasm roars beneath me, serene and violent all at once, reminding much of Tobias and I and our relationship. Calm and peaceful on the outside, but completely passionate and churning upon closer examination. The two of us seem like quiet Abnegation, but we are both Divergent, we were both meant to be Dauntless, brave and courageous. "Tobias, if things are changing, what does that mean for us?"

"We will adapt, we always adapt, Tris. Maybe this is a second chance, a chance to make the right decision."

I hit Tobias shoulder, "are you saying you made the wrong decision choosing Abnegation and staying for me?"

"Yes, I made the wrong decision staying in Abnegation, but nothing about you is wrong."

I blush, and drum my fingers along the railing of the chasm, I look around to make sure that we are alone and Uriah didn't return with his brother from the control room. I fit my hands to Tobias's neck and pull his lips to mine. I pour all my emotion into that one moment, my mother's death, my people's genocide, my newly formed courage and bravery, my love for Tobias.

Tobias pulls away from me, "that was new."

"I'm not sure I understand, what you are saying about me?"

"I am not saying anything about you, just that your lips haven't ever kissed me like that before. It was new."

The blush on my cheeks must be very bright, because Tobias laughs and leans on the railing, twisting the knife we received in his hands. I hear something over the roar of the chasm, "Tobias, did you hear that?"

Tobias looks at me, "no, what was it?"

"I don't know." I turn and walk towards the hallway I saw Uriah disappear into, the sounds get louder, the noises resembling what I think is struggle. I can hear Tobias breaths behind me, my hand secures the gun, "are you ready?" I ask.

"Isn't this the kind of thing we were meant to do?"

The words meant to escape my lips fall silent, as I hear a gunshot fire. Turning the corner, I see Uriah fighting against a soldier, I aim my gun, but the images of my mother play through my mind, and I freeze. The solider falls to his knees after another shot. I turn to Uriah, "I'm sorry I didn't shoot. But good shot."

Uriah raises an eyebrow at me, "I didn't shoot."

Uriah and I turn to Tobias who is setting his gun back the waistband of his jeans, "did you shoot, Tobias?" I try to keep my tone even, but the gratitude I feel towards his bravery seeps through anyway.

"Yes." He swallows, his face grim. That wasn't an easy decision to make, but Tobias made it, knowing that Uriah could be killed if he failed.

Uriah pats Tobias on the back, "and why didn't you switch again?"

"We should keep moving," I roll my eyes and follow Uriah up the flight of some nearby steps. Uriah peeks his head around the corner, glancing into the hall.

"Only one soldier here, it's Peter, who I wouldn't mind killing myself."

I peer over Uriah's shoulder, and this boy, Peter sees me. He doesn't seem to be under the influence of the simulation. Peter raises his gun and shoots at me, I stand frozen as the bullet strikes near me. I need to be brave.

I take a deep breath, and shoot back, hitting him in the leg. Peter collapses into the ground, writhing in pain.

Feeling a small victory, and some over confidence, I take a step into the hallway in full view, "go on, Uriah. Tobias and I can handle him."

Uriah moves forward to what I assume is the control room, Tobias takes my shoulders and examines me, "you didn't get nicked or scratched?"

"I'm fine, Tobias."

"No cuts?"

"I'm fine," I say as Tobias continues to question me. Frustrated, I kiss Tobias deeply, getting lost in him, my fingers tangled into his hair. I don't hear a thing, but as a hot searing pain consumes my shoulder and I hear a blaring pop, I realize a gun was fired. The pads of my fingers press to the heat in my shoulder, I examine them, sticky with crimson. Another shot vibrates behind me, but I am much to focused on the crimson painted on my fingers.

I can't believe I got shot.

Tobias has leaned me against the wall, pressing some fabric to my shoulder, my breath has hitched in my throat. Is that all my blood? How is all that blood seeping through my shirt and into the fabric? Do I really have that much blood?

I start hyperventilating, that's all my blood.

"Tris, stop. Just, take a few deep breaths, focus on taking deep breaths."

I do as I am told, and feel Tobias fingers against my shoulder, "Tris, I need to pull that bullet out before I can stop the bleeding, on three okay?"

I breath out an okay, as his fingers as gingerly as possible move around the hole in my shoulder. My screams pierce the air, pain radiating throughout my entire body at the feeling of a bullet being pulled from within my shoulder. My head begins to pound, is the blood from my shoulder just pouring out now? Like a waterfall? The edges of my sight begin to blur, the pounding in my head becoming unbearable. I collapse into Tobias, letting him support my weight.

I fight to keep my eyes open as the room begins to spin around me, my grip on Tobias growing tighter. I can hear my name, distantly, I know that voice. Whose voice is that? Keeping my fingers locked onto Tobias, I struggle to turn and see who is calling my name.

Tobias sets me down against the floor, "stay awake, Tris."

I think I said that I would, but I can't remember what if those words left my lips at all. "Tobias," I feel like I am going to die, is this what death feels like? A strangling sinking feeling, like reaching for something but coming up short, striving for breath but air falling just a bit from your lips. "I love you, in case," I take a breath. I don't think this will kill me, but what if it does? If it does, I want to Tobias to know how much I love him.

Tobias smiles at me, "Tris you aren't going to die...You got shot, _in the shoulder. _You will survive. Besides it wasn't deep, you bled as much as I would expect is normal for someone who just got shot. You aren't leaving me, Tris."

I try and push my dramatic reaction aside, taking another breath, I bite my lip, "is that a threat?"

"If that's what it takes to keep you with me."

I allow myself a moment to catch my breath, "I won't ever leave you, Tobias."

Tobias sits against the wall with my head in his lap, he stares towards the room Uriah ran into. I wonder if he has managed to shut off the simulation, he said to let him handle the situation, so Tobias and I sit here letting the weight of today's events register for us. Just this morning, I thought today would be a normal day, that I would pretend to be selfless and come home to Tobias. Everything that has happened today changes my whole life, my life wasn't ever supposed to turn in this way. I was going to stay in Abnegation, I was going to marry Tobias, we might have a kid or two, we would live our lives together, grow old together. We would be forever trapped within a sea of grey.

"Tobias what happens if we stop the simulation?"

"I don't know, but things will change."

"Where will we go? There isn't a home for us in Abnegation. Everyone is either dead or a fugitive."

"We can make a life somewhere else."

"Where? Not, Dauntless. Tobias, they just killed our people, my..." I choke up at the mention of my mother, "why would we stay here? I am having a hard time with the thought even though they were under simulation...It doesn't make them completely blameless does it? People are still dead by their actions."

"Not really their actions, someone else, but I understand the logic. We could go with the Factionless."

The thought of spending my time with Evelyn makes me cringe, "your mother hates me." I shut my eyes as Tobias twirls his fingers through my hair.

"She doesn't hate you, she is just...not embracing you." I can hear his smirk.

"Oh really? That's a comforting thought...She hates me Tobias, she thinks I am 'replaceable'."

"In her life maybe, but not in mine."

I smile and try to shift to face Tobias, but feel pain coursing at the sudden movement and decide on laying this way instead. I try to imagine the future with Tobias, that I have dreamed about many times, "Tobias?"

"Yes?"

"Would you marry me?" I wince at my words, "not like now? I mean hypothetically and all, not like now. So like in a hypothetical way, would you ever hypothetically marry me? You don't have to answer, never mind."

"Tris, if you wanted me to marry you right now I would."

I stay quiet, letting the smile playing on my lips speak for itself. I allow myself to fall into a state between the darkness of sleep and being entirely awake, while we wait for Uriah to save his brother.

* * *

A jostling shake wakes me, I flutter my eyes open, "Tobias?"

"We are getting off the train, do you think you can manage with your shoulder?"

I move it slightly, and nearly pass out. "I can manage," I lie. The concern in Tobias voice, makes me feel like I should feel fine, I hate seeming him this worried.

I can see him watching me closely, for any sign that I am in pain. I look around the train car, "Where is Uriah and his brother?"

"In the car next to us...It seemed like they needed some time alone, given the situation."

"Where are we going?"

"Back to Evelyn. We have no were else to go, do we?"

"I guess not...What about my father?"

"I assume with the other refugees who I heard have gone to Amity."

I nod, "your right, there isn't anything there for us. I want to find my father though, and tell him..." I swallow, "what happened."

"We will, when we know it's safe to do so. I don't need you shot in the other shoulder."

"It's good to know that you care so much about my shoulders health."

Tobias kisses my lips, my cheek, then trails them down my neck. I feel the blush on my cheeks, he hasn't ever done that before. I think of my fear, and the feeling that I get when Tobias is near me. This fear can't be rational, I think to myself. How can someone who makes me feel so loved and the idea of manifesting that, scare me?

"Tobias, we need to get off the train," the Factionless sector goes by in a blur. Tobias helps me stand and we jump together, the pulse from landing sending shocks of pain through my shoulder. I clench my teeth and keep the scream in the back of my throat from slipping out. Tobias pulls me close to him, as I see the two figures form the train car next to us jump out. Uriah nears me, with a boy who though he looks older than Uriah, is shorter than him. His eyes are bloodshot, I assume from managing the simulation. I hold some distrust to him, even though he wasn't in complete control. This is the person who allowed my mother to be killed.

But it wasn't of his own will, I try to imagine how many of the Dauntless feel waking up to see that they have murdered countless innocent people, men, women, and children. The horror they must feel. The boy shakes Tobias's hand, "I'm Zeke, Uriah's older brother."

He turns towards me and glances over me, "how old are you?"

The semi-smile that was on my face drops, the one usable shoulder and arm sits on my hip, "I am 16." I move my chin outwards, showing that despite my small size I am confident.

"A feisty one, aren't you?" He looks at Tobias, "she must be a handful."

Tobias smirks, "only sometimes."

I flash him a glare, "we should move." Tobias pulls me closer to him, allowing me to put the weight of my shoulder on him. Tobias leads us to where Evelyn is ruling her band of Factionless and towards the hallway where we had assembled a cot to sleep on.

"Uriah, Zeke you can sleep on that empty cot over there, I am going to find some supplies to properly dress your wound, Tris." Tobias walks away leaving me with Zeke and Uriah.

They sit on the cot across from me, "so you are 16, for real?" Zeke asks.

"Yes. I am."

"And Tobias is your..." Zeke seems to like to question me.

"Boyfriend."

Zeke nods, "how old is he?"

"18," I say.

"That's quite a gap."

"Because 2 years is really just impossible to overcome." I let the sarcasm of the statement sit in, I cross my one arm over my chest, and keep a steady glare aimed to Zeke.

Uriah nudges Zeke with his elbow, "be careful, she might throw a knife through your head."

"You're joking." Zeke looks at me, "there is no way she could hurt me."

I smirk, "on the contrary, I can hit a target with a knife better than you."

Zeke takes his knife out, "try me."

I grasp the knife blade, "I will hit just above your ear, okay?"

Zeke nods, "whoa, how do I know you won't miss and take my eye out, like Edward over there." He jabs his thumb in the direction of the boy with the eye-patch on.

"You're Dauntless, that is a risk you are going to have to take."

Zeke seems to agree with my logic and sits perfectly still. I stay careful not to move my wounded shoulder and use my other hand to chuck the knife across the hall. It comes mere breaths from his ear, and I break into a grin.

"Why aren't you Dauntless again?"

"I had personal obligations." I say, glancing over to Tobias with his arms full of medical supplies. He drops them next to me, "what did you take everything that they had?"

"Just about, okay let me see your shoulder." Tobias moves my shirt back and begins to clean out the wound, I bite into the piece of fabric that served as a belt to keep from shrieking in pain. He presses the bandages to my shoulder and wraps it tight, "I will change it tomorrow."

I smile, "thank you, Tobias." I fit my mouth to his, but one of the two boys sitting across from us clears their throat. I turn to see Zeke still feigning a cough.

"I didn't know Abnegation were this normal, first with Tris throwing knives, and now the two of you showing affection in front of people."

Tobias looks at me, "you threw knives?"

I point to the knife that is still stuck in the wall behind Zeke's ear. Tobias laughs, "I have to admit, Tris, you are deadly even with only one functioning arm."

Zeke grudgingly nods his head in agreement. "We should get some rest, everyone." I say leaning onto the cot. Uriah and Zeke battle for a few moments over who gets which side and who gets the window and then argue over the covers.

My eyes begin to shift closed when I feel Tobias wrap his arm around me and pull me close to him, my small frame fitting to his like a puzzle piece. I snuggle closer to him, the feeling of his breath against my cheek and my palm against his chest, for a moment allowing me to think I am home, in Abnegation safe with Tobias.

My dreams drift me into sleep.

* * *

**Review please, I need your thoughts, any ideas PM me or leave them in a review. **


	11. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Tris wake up."

I don't open an eye, "Tobias, just one more minute."

"Tris, you need to get up."

I press myself closer to him, "Tobias, one more minute."

"Tris, I need to change the dressings on your wound."

The events of the past two days hits me, suddenly all the security I felt a moment ago disappears, "alright." I begin to sit up, but wince at the pain from the strain of movement. Tobias carefully helps me sit up and begins to unwrap the dressings over my wound.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"I slept fine, thank you...What are we doing today?"

"The simulation is over, I think we should go clean up Abnegation and try to find the refugees left."

I look at him, "I don't know if I am ready for that." I think about my mother's lifeless body still on the ground, I begin to imagine her dried blood upon the ground and feel tears in my eyes.

Tobias wipes the tears from under my eyes, "Tris, you don't have to come. But we are still Abnegation, and those people still deserve to be properly buried. You should rest anyway." He smiles sadly at me, "I love you, Tris. I don't want you to do this, if you can't handle it."

"I want to bury my mother. I want to say my goodbyes, I want to thank her for saving us. I'm coming. You're right, we chose to be Abnegation, now is when we need to be the most selfless." I hug Tobias tightly and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Good morning, lovebirds," someone sings behind us. I turn to see Uriah rubbing his eyes, "I am so hungry, I could eat an entire cheeseburger the size of Tris."

I raise my eyebrows at him, "what are you trying to say?"

"That a cheeseburger as big as you would fill me," Uriah smiles.

"Shut it, Uriah. All you ever want to do is eat and you are never filled," Zeke says still wrapped in the thin blanket with his eyes closed.

Tobias stands and pulls me up with him, "we should grab something to eat."

I take his hand and smile, "I think they are passing around canned food."

"What gave you that idea?"

"They are passing it around, Tobias." He turns to see cans being passed between Factionless with a hand full of forks. After a few moments a can of peaches comes to us, Tobias and I stare at it, "have you ever had a peach?" I ask.

"No, you don't mind sharing right?"

I smile, "why would I?"

Tobias grins at me, "what's yours is mine."

"That's only when your married, if I like these then I might eat them all for myself."

"Well we might have to fix that won't we?"

I plunge my fork into the can and pop the bright orange peach slices into my mouth, they are sweet and syrupy. "They are sweet, I love them. I'm keeping it. It's mine..."

Uriah leans towards us, "this sounds like a custody issue. Tobias, you mentioned needing to fix that Tris might eat those for herself, do you mind expounding?"

Tobias nods, keeping his face serious, "I just meant if you were going to threaten taking my food, then we should clearly discuss whether or not we need to figure who gets custody."

"We would have to be married to have custody of anything." I roll my eyes, I don't understand boys sometimes. Everything is a joke to them.

"You are wrong, Tris. You see we just need to have a child that we share."

"We don't have a child, Tobias."

"The food is our child, this can of peaches is our child and you want it all to yourself. Well, I don't think that's fair. So we share it or else we go to court."

Zeke interjects, "I couldn't help but over hear your dilemma. Thankfully for you, I will offer my services as a counselor to help you work out your problems. The emotional stress of a custody battle could be damaging to your can of peaches."

I glare at them, "the three of you clearly can't be serious."

The three of them burst into laughter, I roll my eyes and eat almost all the peaches in the can, leaving one peach at the bottom. "You can have the rest Tobias."

He smiles and takes the can from me, he looks inside and frowns, "that's just mean Tris."

"You can't do anything about it, now can you, Tobias."

Tobias pulls me into his arms, "you owe me something."

"I do?"

"You owe me a kiss," Tobias press his lips to mine and I hear a few cat calls and someone clear their throat. I pull away and look up to see Evelyn standing behind us.

"The four of you would like to know that the scouts we sent out to see the effects of ending the simulation."

I stand up as does Tobias, Zeke, and Uriah. "What did they find?" I ask.

Evelyn scowls at me, "we can discuss this on the way downstairs, I have to show you something."

We follow Evelyn through the hall and down a flight of stairs, "by the time I sent out a few people, the last of the loyal Dauntless were headed to Candor. A few of them chose to come with us, when they found out that Zeke and Uriah were here."

We walk down the steps and turn to see a group of Dauntless. standing in a circle. One of the girls, tall, blonde and pretty turns to us, "Uriah!" She crashes into Uriah's arms talking very fast about waking up from the simulation.

I can't help but feel some resentment for these people, they don't seem to regret their actions on Abnegation. Could one of them be the soldier who killed my mother? I force those thoughts out my mind, since I would rather not know if one of them is responsible. At this moment, ignorance is bliss, and I intend to keep it that way. These might be the only allies we will have if things escalate. Tobias and I stand away from everyone, being Abnegation we blend into the background. We are experts at not being seen or heard, walked past, unnoticed.

Uriah turns to us, "Tris, Tobias meet my friends." He points to the blonde who is wrapped in his arm, "this Marlene and that is Shauna."

Shauna is talking to Zeke, and the other two Dauntless stand talking to each other. One of the girls walks to us, her bright brown eyes searching me, she is quite pretty. "I'm Christina."

"I'm Tris and this is Tobias." I watch the blonde boy with blue eyes approach us as well, intertwining his fingers with Christina's. A sigh almost leaves my lips, was I worried about Christina capturing Tobias's attention.

The boy offers his hand to Tobias, "I'm Will."

I watch the two of them shake hands, I look at Christina unsure of what to say. Christina speaks first, "how old are you?"

"16." The tone of her voice, reminds me of the loud mouthed Candor I saw many times in school.

She nods, "So am I. What faction are you from?" She looks at my mainly black clothing, grey belt, and my hair in a sloppy bun at the nape of my neck. I look around and realize that all of us are covered in grime and sweat, we all must smell terrible, but since the Factionless homes don't ever smell very good we don't notice. I assume we have gotten used to the pungent smell of old dirty clothes, rotten food, and trash. Dirty sweaty bodies on top of that must not have much of an effect on us.

"I'm from Abnegation." I look over to see Tobias and Will watching the two of us converse.

Christina's lips form a straight line and she takes a breath, "oh. Are you from Abnegation, too?"

Tobias nods but doesn't speak. He has never been one to talk very often in front of new people, with the exception of Zeke and Uriah, those two seemed to have gotten Tobias to be himself much faster than I ever would have expected. It has become clear from meeting Zeke last night that Tobias not only likes Zeke, but trusts him. It wouldn't shock me if they became best friends, judging by how easy their conversations are.

Christina looks back to me, realizing that I am the one who does most of the speaking out of the two of us. "So you're 16. Did you just turn 16?"

Does she honestly think that I would be choosing soon? I know I'm small, but...I rest my hand on my waist, "I will be 17 in a couple months. If you are wondering, I already had my choosing ceremony, same as you." I let some of the confidence and sass that I usually hide when speaking to anyone besides Tobias or our new friends, Uriah and Zeke.

"You're not very withdrawn like most, stiffs."

I hate that word, stiff. I take a small breath, "don't call me stiff. My name is Tris, not stiff. Got it?"

She smirks at me, "I like you."

I blink back at her, I show some anger towards her, and she decides that she likes me. The Dauntless are odd indeed. Would I act like this if I had switched? "We are going to clean Abnegation. Bury the dead," I say, taking Tobias's hand and walking out the door into the fresh air.

Uriah and Zeke run out and stand with us, "we are coming. We have to do something."

I smile, reach out and squeeze Uriah's hand, "thank you."

Uriah nods, "it's the right thing to do."

I pull Tobias towards Abnegation, Uriah lightening the mood with jokes and stories of his initiation. I allow myself, this moment of laughter and peace because I know the moment we set foot into our home I won't be able to smile. I might not smile every again.

* * *

I drop Tobias's hand. My jaw is slack, bodies are everywhere, dried blood splattered everywhere. Uriah and Zeke leave to get a shovel to dig a few graves. "Tris, are you going to be okay?"

I nod, "I want to find my mother."

Tobias pulls me to him, I bury my head into his shoulder as we walk around countless bodies. Men and women, eyes wide open, screams still stuck in their opened mouths. We walk towards the alley where my mother was shot.

I break into a run when I see her hair and then the rest of her body. I slow as her face comes into view, despite the horrific way she died, here she is peaceful and rested. As if she felt no pain at all, I fall to my knees, and tears spring from my eyes.

I'm so sorry, Mother. I hold her in my arms, and cry. Tobias is next to me, I can feel him, but he doesn't speak. He allows me the moment to speak to her, to tell her that I'm sorry, to thank her, to tell her how much I love her.

It feels like it's been hours, but after I have cried all my tears I decide to find a spot to bury her. She deserves a proper burial. I stand up, to see Zeke and Uriah standing with Tobias, "we can put her on this makeshift wagon, then you pick a spot to bury her, Tris." Tobias looks at me asking if it's alright for them to move her.

I nod, and the three of them carefully pick her up and set her inside, I know where I want to bury her. "I want to bury her near the Ferris wheel."

We walk to the Ferris wheel, quiet and solemn. I point to the point near the carousel and Ferris wheels surrounded by trees. I look for a clearing, it's quiet and beautiful, she would love it here. "Right here," I say.

Zeke and Uriah begin to dig a hole and I try and smooth out her hair, make sure that she looks as beautiful and radiant as she did when she was alive. The boys set her into the hole, "I want to say something."

The boys nod, I look at her body and feel a few more tears stream down my face, "the two of you, Zeke and Uriah, never got to meet my mother. She would have loved you, she was the sweetest, loving, and most patient person I have ever known. She was selfless, beautiful, and brave. She died, saving my life and Tobias's, and I hope she knows how grateful we are."

I wipe my eyes, "I love you, so much Mom. I promise that I will never forget you...I'm going to miss you, I'm going to miss you so much. Caleb couldn't be here, but if he was he would want you to know that he loved you very much too. I love you, Dad loves you, Caleb loves you, and all of us will miss you."

I look at Zeke and Uriah, then wipe my eyes quickly, "go ahead and bury her. I'm going to go over there." I walk towards the Ferris wheel, I climb up the ladder and slide into one of the cars, as I settle into one, I begin to cry.

My mother is dead, I just buried her. Caleb...I don't know where Caleb is, if he knows our mother is dead, or if he knew about the attack from Erudite, his faction. I sob into a ball and let myself release every emotion I have been feeling.

I feel sadness, anger, frustration, love, admiration, hope, courage, bravery, all of them morphing into each other. Each one carrying its own burdens on me, I feel Tobias near me. It's amazing how I can just sense him, sense his support and love.

He shakily climbs into the car with me, he pries me from my knees, and tips my chin up, "I'm so proud of you, for being brave."

I nod, "I just feel so much, Tobias. I feel like everything is hitting me at once."

"It will be okay, Tris. It'll get better."

I smile and cry into his chest, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Tris."

I look up and press my mouth to his, letting all the emotions that have been plaguing me out. I forget everything just for a moment and pretend like everything hasn't happened. I get lost in Tobias and let everything just go. "As much as I would like to continue this, Tris, we need to get back."

I nod, and press one last to kiss to Tobias's cheek. I climb out the car and down the ladder. Zeke and Uriah are arguing near the foot of the carousel.

"Let's go." I say.

Uriah looks me and Tobias over, "you two look like you got hit by a train."

I smooth my hair out, and feel a blush on my cheeks. "We should continue cleaning things up."

Zeke stares at Tobias, "you Abnegation are full of surprises, let me tell you...So should I assume that-"

I shake my head, "no, Zeke we are not talking about this."

Zeke waves his eyebrows, "if we end up with a little Abnegation baby..."

"That didn't happen, Zeke! Don't bring it up, we kissed alright!" I glare at him and walk ahead.

I hear Zeke and Uriah's laughter, Uriah catches up to me, "I'm sorry Tris. Will you forgive us?"

"I don't know."

Uriah wipes a few fake tears, "please?"

I sigh, "fine. Let's go."

"Whatever you say, Tris."

I roll my eyes, and somehow find a smile on my face.

* * *

**Review...it's unedited sorry. I have a doctor's appointment so it was barely finished...I think I have a bad cold or something. **


	12. Chapter 13

**TICKETS COME OUT TOMORROW FOR DIVERGENT! I am so excited, I have been waiting months for this moment to buy tickets. **

**Who else is seriously excited?**

* * *

**Chapter 13**

"Peaches?" I try to look over Tobias's shoulder as he looks into the can of food we share for dinner today.

"No, carrots."

"You can keep them, Tobias."

"Tris, eat something, you need to eat something." He hands me a spoonful of soggy carrots. "Eat it, Tris."

I eat part of the can of carrots as Christina sits down next to me. "How are you feeling?"

"Alright." Considering today's events of burying my mother and the rest of Abnegation. I didn't find Susan or my father so they must have survived and fled to Amity.

Christina nods and looks at her hands, "would you like to go for a walk? Just to talk, girl to girl, friend to friend?"

I stare at her, "why?"

"I like you and Will thinks I should try to make more of an effort to be a friend to you...considering everything."

"Okay, that sounds fine." I hand Tobias the can of carrots, stand and follow Christina outside.

She walks along the scattered trash that lines the street we are on, glass crackling under her feet. She is tall, much taller than me, and quite pretty, prettier than me. "So, Tris? That's a name I haven't heard."

"It's short for my full name."

"Which is?"

"Beatrice."

Christina nods her head, "boring name."

_"Abnegation _name."

"So you and Tobias are together. How long?"

"Since my Initiation, right after the Choosing Ceremony. What about you and Will?"

Christina gets a large grin across her face, "towards the end of Initiation. It just happened you know, one day we started looking at each other a little differently, and talking a little more openly, and suddenly we were together. What about you?"

"Honestly, we grew up in the same circles." I choose to leave out the relationship between Tobias and Marcus, that is his personal information. "After a while, we became like best friends and slowly our relationship grew."

"Very Abnegation, I'm guessing?"

I shrug, "it was going to work out that way, if none of this had happened."

"How so?" Christina seems genuinely interested in the possible life I could have had in Abnegation, maybe she could become a real, true friend. A best friend, even.

"Well, we would have courted for a few years and Tobias would have asked my hand in marriage. After that, we would set a day, even though we don't plan a wedding or anything. It would be selfish to have a day focused on ourselves. Then we would go tot he council and repeat a few vows and sign a few papers. Then we get two days off to adjust to life as newly weds."

"Two days? You don't get a ceremony, reception, or honeymoon?"

I shake my head, "the two days are a generous allowance. Abnegation would prefer that we settle into our new lives so we can function efficiently in our new capacities."

Christina looks at me with wonder, "so then what?"

"Well, we would continue life as normal, I guess.." I feel a blush paint onto my cheeks, "we might have had children."

Christina laughs, "your Abnegation is showing, Beatrice."

I frown and cross my arms, "shut up."

Christina walks on and turns the corner to another row of broken glassed walls and abandoned buildings, "I'm sure that your life in Abnegation would have have been a ton of fun."

"Thanks for the sarcasm, you think we don't know how boring our lives were and would be? We did."

"Why didn't you switch?"

I shrug, "things were complicated." While I like Christina she doesn't need to know my secret, especially now that Erudite might be willing to do anything to get Divergents in their custody since we are out of their control. I put my hands into my pockets, "what was it like Dauntless?"

"Better than Candor. It kept you aware, on your toes, exciting. More fun than anything you could imagine. I loved it, sorry I love it."

"It sounds amazing," I stop and sit on the curb and play with a piece of glass between my fingers.

Christina sits next to me, "a brown palate would be perfect for your eye color."

I look up at her, "what?"

"Sorry, I have a thing for makeup."

"Makeup?" I struggle to imagine what makeup might look like, "how does it look?"

Christina gapes at me, "you mean you haven't ever worn make-up?"

I shake my head, "Abnegation, remember? It would be calling attention to ourselves, when we are supposed to forget ourselves."

Christina pulls me up, "come on, we have to do a makeover."

"A makeover?"

"Yes! Tris, you have to have at least one makeover once in your life. And since things are so screwed up, I think you deserve some time to relax for once."

"I don't know, you aren't going to accomplish anything by doing this."

"Just shut up, Tris. And let me work my magic." Christina drags me to where she and the other Dauntless are staying and digs through some things and finds a dusty case with odd powders in bright and dull colors.

"What is that?"

"I found it while you and Uriah, Zeke, and Tobias were gone. Marlene and I went hunting through the Factionless and came across this makeup case."

"Did it expire?" I eye the dust laying on top and the worn edges.

"I don't think so, but you are the test face, okay?" Christina opens it up and pushes me into sitting on a three legged chair supported by a block of wood. "Sit still, don't move, okay?"

"Okay."

She frowns, "no more talking. You are going to be a whole new you!"

"You won't make me pretty." I already know I won't be pretty, I'm not ugly, but I also am not pretty or beautiful or stunning.

"I was going more for...noticeable."

Noticeable is a big deal for me, since in Abnegation living unnoticed is a cornerstone of who we are. Christina will be giving me something I could only dream of in Abnegation, and that is being noticed. Christina doesn't speak, as she presses soft brushes to me eyes and cheeks, an almost pasty mix is pressed to my lips and eyes. Christina says it was old and it took some water to make it work again. After she finishes my face she begins to mess with my hair, twisting it and tucking it beneath other strands. My legs begin to go numb, and I don't think I can sit here any longer and be still.

"Am I done yet?"

"Calm down, get some patience I am finished." Christina stands back with a proud look on her face.

I look at her, "did it work?"

"Tobias won't be able to keep his hands off of you."

I look away from her, cheeks red, and the mere thought of Tobias finding me desirable has kicked my heartbeat into overdrive. She rustles through some trash and finds a shard of glass, "if you look at it from the right angle, Tris, you can see your reflection."

I turn it back and forth, until I can see something.

The girl in the glass is not Beatrice Prior.

This girl has white porcelain skin, soft pink lips, round icy blue eyes, rosy cheeks, and golden hair. This girl is not beautiful, but she is noticeable, even slightly attractive. I smile at Christina and pulls her into a hug, "thank you. Christina, thank you so much."

Christina looks down at me, "you need some better clothes."

I look down at my outfit, "I do?"

"These ones are too big." Too big? I already feel nearly naked in these tight black clothes. "We don't have much to work with, but thankfully for you, I know how to make something spectacular out of nothing." she pulls and tugs at my clothes, tightening my shirt, ripping my jeans and rolling sleeves. When she steps back the satisfied and awed expression on her face, tells me I look special. I look like I am more than just an Abnegation girl.

Like the girl, Tris Prior on the inside, now matches her on the outside.

Beatrice Prior from humble Abnegation is gone. "We have to show Tobias, Tris." She takes my hand and leads me away. I just hope he likes it.

* * *

"I now present the new and improved, Tris Prior!" Christina steps aside and I hear a few cat calls and the other girls congratulations to Christina. I let my eyes look over everyone and slowly find their way to Tobias.

I'm worried he won't like it, or he will expect me to look this nice all the time, or just realize how much better he could have in place of me. I look up at him, his eyes wide and jaw slightly open.

"Tris, you...you look...different."

I try not to frown, he doesn't like it, "different." I repeat, hoping he won't hear some of the hurt in my voice. I thought he would like it. Why didn't he like it.

"Tris, you look more perfect and beautiful than I ever imagined. I didn't even know you could be more spectacular than you were before." Tobias pulls me to him, "you look stunning."

"Thank you, I was hoping you would like it."

"Tris, I love it."

"But you realize I won't be able to look like this all the time."

"Tris, I love you no matter how you look, with or without make up."

I smile, "well that made me feel better."

Tobias kisses me for a long time, everyone around me sizzling out of consciousness, until all I notice is the pressure of his hands on my waist, his lips on mine, and my heartbeat that is now ringing through my ears. "I love you, Tris."

"I love you too, Tobias."

He wraps his arms around me, "I am not letting you go or out of my sight ever again."

"Really?"

"You are much to beautiful for me to just let you walk around. Someone might steal you from me."

"No one will steal me from you, Tobias."

Tobias kisses me again, "I won't ever be able to stop doing that."

I grin, "good, I don't want you to."

* * *

**Sorry it's short it has been a busy week. I will update my other three stories throughout this week no worries. **


	13. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the lack of updates. I got my tickets for Divergent and I bought Catching Fire. I'm watching it as I update for you so I will keep Katniss and Peeta out of this chapter.**

**OH MY FREAKING FINNICK DID EVERYONE SEE THE KNIFE THROWING SCENE OR THE CHASM SCENE OR THE SCENE WHERE FOUR IS UNDER SIMULATION?**

**I ALMOST CRIED. (not over-exaggerating here) I don't do much besides read and write and watch movies based off of books...so this was a big freaking deal...**

**AH! Okay, done fangirling...Maybe ;)**

**On with the chapter!**

* * *

**Chapter 14**

A sudden feeling of cold wraps around me, I pull the covers closer hoping to regain some warmth. I open my eyes and see Uriah and Zeke asleep across from me in this small hallway, I turn and realize Tobias is gone. I sit up and look around.

I debate going to find him, but decide against it. Tobias is an adult and I trust him.

It's amazing how the comfort of knowing someone is asleep next to a person can put them to sleep. I think it's the sound of Tobias breathing beside me, the slight movement with each breath, that lulls me to sleep. I stare at the ceiling above me, considering what we will do now. I don't know where my father is, I don't know where Caleb is, and I don't think either one of them knows about my mother. I catch a few tears on my cheek and let them dry there. I am tired of wiping away the tears I have from the sadness that consumes me.

What will we do next? I feel like we should go after Erudite, like we need to find whoever was responsible for this and make them pay for it. I hear footsteps, rushed, agile, Tobias. I shut my eyes and pretend to be asleep, he climbs in next to me and judging by the way he is breathing he is angry.

He turns to me and I keep myself still, eyes shut tight, "Tris, I think we should leave in the morning."

I turn to face him, "you knew I wasn't asleep?"

"I always know when you're asleep. You look happier, there isn't any sadness on your face. What is it that makes you so happy when you sleep?" I can tell he is trying not to think about whatever just happened. Some of the anger he feels is hidden behind his voice.

I wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself closer to him, "I dream."

"What about?"

I kiss his nose, "you, of course...Tobias, are you okay?"

His small smile fades away, "I'm fine."

"Tobias, you don't have to tell me about it, but is there any way for me to help?"

"Just be yourself and trust me."

I rest my head against his shoulder, "I would expect to do nothing less."

Tobias presses his lips to my neck, "Tris, you love me?"

"I love you more than anything in the world. Why?"

"I was just making sure."

* * *

Tobias shakes me awake, "it's time to go Tris."

I sit up and look to find the Dauntless staying here packing their things, "why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"I figured you needed some sleep, Tris."

I stand and pack the few belongings I have, my Abnegation clothes and some cans of food that were supposed to be the meals for Tobias and I for the next week. "Tobias, where are are going exactly?"

"Dauntless, it's were we can get weapons and since it's underground it will be easier to guard the entrances."

I break into a grin, "we are going to Dauntless again?"

"Yes, I think we will be there for a while."

"What about Evelyn?"

Tobias's features cloud, "I think it would be better for everyone if we operated with some distance."

"Okay," I fold the last of our things and put them in a bag. I look at Tobias and take his hand in mine, "Tobias, are we getting a second chance?"

Tobias smiles at me, "yeah, I think we are."

I head towards Christina as Evelyn steps into our hall, "Tobias can we speak."

"For a few moments."

They step aside into a room nearby, so far I hear nothing. Slowly voices rise, I move closer to the door separating me from them.

Evelyn: "Are you leaving for _her?_"

Tobias: "Don't talk about Tris."

Evelyn: "Well answer me, Tobias!"

Tobias: "I'm leaving for _us._"

Evelyn: "You don't think she won't leave you at some point? You deserve better than _that _Tobias!"

Tobias stays silent then speaks up, "don't you ever say that again. Evelyn, I don't deserve Tris... I'm leaving and you won't stop me. I don't ever want to hear you say a word about Tris again, I will still help the Factionless, I gave my word, but we won't be in close proximity. When we meet to discuss our plans Tris is coming with me and she deserves your respect and you are going to treat her with dignity. Are we clear?"

Evelyn doesn't say anything, but I assume she nodded because Tobias storms out the room and takes my hand, "let's go."

* * *

I step into Dauntless with awe, for the first time I truly see Dauntless for the beauty it is. The roar of the chasm gives me this sense of power, this feeling of being free to be selfish. Zeke runs past Tobias and me with his arms spread open, "welcome home everyone!"

I swallow. This isn't truly my home is it? This could be my home, but right now I am just staying here, I am not one of them. As much as it hurts me to realize that fact. I am not Dauntless. I am not meant to be here. Tobias words echo in my mind, the thought of him telling me that this might be our second chance.

Is it really our second chance? Will the Dauntless accept us as their own?

Tobias takes my hand and slips his fingers between mine, Zeke turns to us, "I need to check the cameras and see if anyone is still in here...Uriah get everyone in an apartment."

Uriah shoves Zeke, "whatever." He motions to the group and walks ahead, "Okay, Christina you can go here." He points to a door on the left side of a hall, he then walks to the one directly next to it, "Will you can be here."

Christina opens the door to the apartment and shuts the door behind her, Will walks through his and does the same. I walk behind Uriah as he points to different doors for Marlene, Lynn, and himself. He then turns to Shauna, "you already have an apartment. So I guess I just have Tobias and Tris to get settled in."

Shauna smiles, "I can get them settled in, Uri." Shauna turns a few corners, "we aren't sure if you two wanted to share or not. So do you?"

I take one glance at Tobias and immediately understand our decision, "we can share."

Shauna smiles, "I figured as much. Tobias since you are older you can be over here with Zeke and I. That's cool right?"

Tobias smiles, "that's perfect, thank you."

Shauna motions to a door to her left, "I am right down the hall over there and Zeke is two doors over. Okay? Let us know if you need anything." Shauna walks down the hall and disappears from sight.

"Well, I guess this is ours now." Tobias tells me, opening the door and allowing me in first.

I fight a smile off my face, "_ours?" _Tobias has never referred to anything as ours. Maybe I am over thinking this, but I can't seem to get the thought that our relationship has taken a step forward, out of my mind.

"Yes, _ours. _That sounds...right doesn't it?"

"Yes it does." I set our one bag on the counter by the door. A large bed sits in front of me and a door is on each opposing wall. "It has character."

Tobias laughs and opens one of the doors, "closet is over here."

I cross the room to the other door, "bathroom is here." I could see Tobias and I here forever. I could see us living in this world of bravery and courage.

Tobias stands behind me, "I'm taking a much needed shower."

"I think you need clothes, and soap, and towels. I think there are some stores I can just grab what we need and come back here while you shower."

Tobias nods, "that sounds like a plan." He wraps his hand around my jaw and pulls my mouth to his. I will never get tired of the feeling he gives me. That feeling of weightlessness, like everything around me is spinning yet perfectly still. As if my heart might beat out of my chest, yet some calming inner peace makes me feel secure. Tobias lips trail now my neck and a small sigh escapes my lips. I can feel his smile on my neck, his hands wrap onto my waist and pull me tight against him, suddenly I begin to panic. I try to shake the thought from my mind, my fear came from a dream, it can't mean anything...But my rising panic proves the opposite. I take a breath and smile, "I should get those things."

Tobias smiles and leaves one last kiss on my lips. I turn and head to the Pit where I saw some store fronts. I need to talk to Christina she seems to have some knowledge on romance, possibly even enough to answer my questions.

Knocking on her door, I wait hoping she is there. I hear a shuffle and the door opens to reveal a very frazzled Christina. Her swollen lips, messy hair, and disheveled clothing says that much. If I doubted Christina's knowledge at all, I don't now.

"I'm sorry for bothering you, I will come by later." I would normally blush given the circumstance and my innocence, but the matters that weigh on my mind outweigh my Abnegation nature.

"No, what is it?"

"Well, I was hoping for some help finding Tobias and I clothes and other materials..." I add in a small whisper, "and I need some advice...girl to girl."

Christina beams at me, "let's go."

* * *

Sitting on the edge of a stool, Christina throws clothes at me as she speaks, "so you are afraid of intimacy?"

"Yeah, I told you that already...Thanks for not laughing by the way."

Christina rolls her eyes,"I realize the seriousness of the topic. Okay, so intimacy with Tobias or just intimacy in general, or would you prefer me to say-?"

I blush interrupting her, "no we will stick with intimacy."

Christina smiles and takes a bra and tosses it at me, "you might need one, since I am assuming Abnegation gave you some old grey one."

I stare at it, "we only wore this camisole underneath all our clothes." I lift it up with my fingers, "this looks complicated."

"It isn't. Now which one do you want? There is normal which is self explanatory, push-up which makes them bigger, and-"

My eyes widen, "you mean I can make them _bigger_?"

Christina bites her lip, "not exactly, but you can give the illusion that they are."

I stare at her with a broad smile, I can at least pretend to have the body of a woman and not a child. "I want the push-up."

Christina tosses it to me, "go ahead and try it on. I will look for some jeans for you." She pushes me into the dressing room and tosses a pair of jeans and a shirt in with me.

"Christina, we still should discuss my fear. What do I do?"

I can hear here pause in her search for clothes, "well, I think you should tell Tobias. And then see what he has to say. Both of you are, not to say this in a mean way, but Stiffs and maybe he is just as scared as you are."

I toss the shirt on and stand in the mirror, "I never thought of that." Opening the door, and stepping out, Christina looks me over.

"I am wonderful at what I do...Now, after that I think the two of you will know where you stand on the grounds of where your relationship will go."

I hug Christina, "thank you, so much. You are amazing."

Christina smiles, "yes I know. Let's get Tobias some clothes and then pick up some other things." Christina walks around and shows me what we will need while we stay here. They have so many different smells in the soap, Christina quirks her eyebrows up, "you guys don't have scented soap do you?"

I shake my head, "no, but I am glad I do now." I grab three or four bottles for me and two I think Tobias would like. "Christina, there are so many things here." We walk past a shop with mirrors and paintings. "Stop, what is in here?"

"Things to decorate your apartment, why?"

"We need a mirror and a blanket." I walk inside and glance over the shelves until I find a mirror I think is perfect for us. Christina carries it under her shoulder and follows behind me as I glance at the pillows and blankets. "I want this one." I pull a thick blue quilt off the shelf and some pillows that feel soft and airy, very different from the usual hard and heavy ones that I had in Abnegation.

"I knew you would love shopping, Tris."

I follow Christina to my apartment and set everything inside, I turn to her and pull her into a hug. I seem to like hugs, maybe because I never got to hug anyone in Abnegation, "thanks Christina."

"Don't mention it, if you need anything let me know, okay?"

"Of course." I shut the door, hang our clothes, and make the bed. I stare at the mirror, Tobias will need to hang that later. After grabbing a towel and some clothes for Tobias, I knock on the bathroom door, "I am going to set your stuff on the edge of the sink." I shut the door quickly and sit on the edge of the bed. This is my home with Tobias. Falling back into the quilt, staring at the white ceiling above me I allow myself to believe that this is home. This is where I will be forever with Tobias, watching our lives unfold. The bathroom door opens and Tobias smiles at me, his hair glistening, I attempt to keep my eyes trained on his face and not how well fitted the shirt he has on is. In the past few days, Tobias has spent a lot of time with Zeke and Uriah, the result being the start of muscle.

"Thanks Tris. What is all this?"

"I bought a blanket and pillows, oh and that mirror. Which you need to hang up...Your clothes are up in the closet, I hope you like them. Christina helped me pick them out."

"What did you get for yourself?"

"Just a few pairs of jeans a couple shirts," I leave out the undergarments I got, though, I would rather not discuss that with Tobias. I remember whawt Christina told me to do, "Tobias could we talk?"

He smiles and sits down next to me on the bed, I stare at my hands, "I'm afraid of you." I blurt out. Those weren't the words I meant to put together, they just kind of popped out.

I see the hurt register on Tobias face, "you are afraid of me?"

I shake my head, "not you...I mean...how do I say this."

"It seems pretty obvious what you meant Tris." I can hear not only hurt, but something unstable and dangerous. IT excites me and reminds me that Tobias can be hurt. He paces in front of me, clearly confused and frustrated.

"I am afraid of...intimacy."

"With me?"

"With anyone. Although I plan on you...Unless you break up with me after I just ruined everything." I drop my head into my hands.

It stays quiet, "Tris that's what's wrong?"

"It's embarrassing I know. You must think I am such a child." I look up.

Tobias scratches behind his ear with a blush on his cheek, "Tris, you think I know anything about that?"

"You are older, and handsome, I mean I assumed..." I look back down and let my head rest in my hands.

"You assumed wrong."

I let out a sigh of relief. Tobias leans in front of me, my eyes even with his, I shift my gaze down, "Tris look at me."

Raising my eyes, I stare into those deep blue waves that tell me so much about who he is, he strokes my cheek and smiles, "I love you, and that is all that matters. For now, why don't we just enjoy the way things are?"

"I like the sound of that."

Tobias kisses me gently, "I'm going to get started with hanging this mirror for you."

"I need to take my shower..." I walk to the closet and grab everything, "Tobias?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you more, Tris."

I bite my lip, "I doubt that, but I am willing to let you try and prove it."

"I'll start by hanging the mirror."

* * *

Zeke passes us each a plate with two pieces of bread and brown meat. "What is it?"

Tobias stares at it and takes the top piece off, copying Zeke who pours red sauce on his, Zeke called it ketchup. Tobias takes a bite and smiles, "that is amazing. Tris, put ketchup on it."

I take it and squeeze the bottle, lining the brown meat in red. Zeke smiles, "it's called a burger. It is the only thing I know how to cook so I just decided to make that."

"They're delicious." I tell Zeke, and take another bite.

Zeke looks at us and clears his throat, "you guys are going to be staying here in Dauntless...and Shauna and I were talking and after this is all over, if everything goes back to normal. I figure you guys won't go back to Abnegation. I know I wouldn't..."

I stare at him, is he offering to allow us to stay here if things work out? Zeke sets his burger down, "I think it is only fair to allow you guys the same opportunity that we had to get to be here. You have already proved you deserve a place here, so consider that the equivalent of your Aptitude Test. Then you chose to come with us to Dauntless, so I count that as your Choosing Ceremony. Which means you two need to pass initiation. That seems fair?"

"It does," Tobias has ceased eating too.

Zeke smiles, "so if things get back to normal ever, the other Dauntless can't say a word about you and Tris being here. You passed initiation just the same as everyone else. You start tomorrow 7 AM on the dot. Don't be late."

I look at Tobias and grasp his hand, "this is our second chance."

Tobias kisses my cheek, then rests his forehead against mine, "we can be remade here."

I think about how much Tobias has searched for a way to separate himself form Marcus, being here in Dauntless is one way to ensure his freedom from Marcus. Different faction, different color, different personality. He can be a new person here, he deserves it. For everything Marcus did to Tobias, he deserves it.

* * *

Zeke stands in a large room with a glass floor, "this is the fear landscape room, I am going to give Tobias the option to do it first. They did it first during my initiation and it's only fair to extend that option to you Tobias because you and I would have been in the same initiate class."

Tobias nods, "so it shows me my greatest fears?"

Zeke nods, "it's simple really, you either face the fear or you get your heartbeat low and steady enough to move onto the next fear. The average is between 10-15 fears. 15 is a little much, but it happens."

I can see the fear in Tobias eyes, I squeeze his hand, "I will be waiting for you when you're done." I stand on my tiptoes and give him a small light kiss, "I love you, and remember be brave." I give him a tight hug and walk to the other side of the glass. Zeke injects Tobias and sits in a chair with a screen turned away from us. I watch Tobias eyes glaze over with fear.

I don't know what he sees but he is being pushed back for a moment, he looks over something and blinks a few times as if in disbelief. I watch him jump.

Heights, I remember our night on the Ferris wheel, he was terrified of being up so high. He crouches and I can see the pain in his eyes, mouth open, teeth clenched, he takes deep breaths. I reach my hand out, my finger tips resting on the glass separating me from Tobias. I wish I could be there with him, even if I can't face his fears for him, I could be there for him. Support him, give him the calm he would need to get through it.

His breathing slowly evens, he must have passed onto the next fear. He picks something up and maneuvers it, I cock my head to the side and try and imagine what he could be holding. As he lifts his arm, shaking slightly, I realize he is holding a gun. He must be shooting someone. He shakes as he aims, I can see the struggle that is going on within his mind.

He takes the shock, he stares ahead in shock, blank and unwavering.

Suddenly his gaze shifts his eyes following something, suddenly he backs away and begins to cower, his hands wrapped around his head.

Marcus, that is the only person or thing to make him succumb to their power. He trembles to his knees. I want to help him, "be brave," I whisper. Hoping somehow he can hear my voice and be courageous. I press my hands to the glass and lean my forehead against it, _I believe in you Tobias, I know you can do this. You are the strongest person I will ever know. _

I can only imagine what it is like for Tobias to be facing the one thing he fears most. Slowly, I watch him calm and his chest stop rising and falling with such urgency.

Zeke stands up and walks to him, "that took you a while."

"It felt like an eternity." Tobias tells him. He turns his gaze to me, searching my face for something. What exactly I'm not sure.

Zeke slaps Tobias on the back, "despite your time, I have to say that was impressive."

"It was?" Tobias asks.

"Four fears! Tobias, you had _Four _fears! That hasn't ever happened before, that must be the official record for lowest fears. You are amazing, if you had been in Dauntless you would have ranked first, given your physical abilities according to Uriah and this. That was amazing."

Tobias smiles, "really?"

Zeke nods, "forget calling you Tobias, I'm calling you Four." 

Something shifts in Tobias eyes, I realize what it is. Dauntless has given him a chance to separate from Marcus in every way, except in his name.

Now Dauntless has given him that too.

He turns to me, unsure of what to say. I pull him into my arms, "I'm so proud of you, _Four."_

Zeke walks to the computer to shut everything down, I take Tobias's face in my hands, "see you can be remade here."

Tobias grins at me, "so can you."

I fit my mouth to his and kiss him until Zeke clears his throat, "let's go tell the others."

I slip my fingers through Tobias's hand and smile up at him, "would you like me to call you Four?"

He shakes his head, "I think it might catch on here, I wouldn't mind hearing my name from you."

"Fair enough, but don't think that because I can still call you Tobias that you can call me Beatrice or something."

"I wouldn't ever dream of it, Bea."

I roll my eyes, "Tris, the name is Tris."

Tobias stops and sets his hands on my waist, "I love you," I whisper breathlessly.

"I love you too."

I giggle, "I love you, _Four." _

He rolls his eyes and gives me a few quick kisses on the lips. It isn't until he walks away that I realize he gave me exactly four.


	14. Chapter 15

**Sorry for taking so long...Okay anyone else go to Divergent? I went to the midnight premiere. LOVED the movie in general, but I had some mixed feelings about plot and character development. Was it just me or did Al and Will look way too similar? I LOVED Shaliene Woodley as Tris. And Theo James is just perfect...He is perfect as Four too, but just perfect in general. May it be noted, that I noticed Theo James back when he was the Turkish Ambassador in Downtown Abby and a cop on Golden Boy...Just saying. Oh well, tell me what you guys thought of the movie or PM me your feelings, because I am dying to talk about it with someone!**

* * *

**Chapter 15**

I step out of the bathroom and lace my new boots up, I look over at Tobias sleeping face. I wish I didn't have to wake him up, but for the past week we have been training for initiation and we can't be late. He should be glad I let him sleep in the mornings. I kneel beside him and shake his shoulder, "Tobias, time to wake up. I'm going to get breakfast while you get ready."

Tobias mumbles and turns around, I stand up, "Tobias, when I come back you better be up and ready... or else."

"Or else?" He turns back to face me but keeps his eyes clamped shut.

"I am considering using a bucket of ice-water."

Tobias eyes spring open, "I'm awake, go get breakfast...Tris can you grab me a muffin?"

"Yes, I can. Be ready by the time I get back." I turn to go, but Tobias grabs my wrist, "what?"

"I just want to see your face before you go."

I roll my eyes and smile, "okay, I'm going now. Be ready or else." I run into the hallway, to the chasm and stare below me. I can't believe that Tobias and I will be Dauntless soon. Christina pops up next to me and looks over the railing, "good morning Tris."

"Morning, Christina. I'm going to get breakfast, would you like to come?"

Christina smiles and offers her arm to me, "so what happens after you and Four pass initiation?"

I shrug, "I need to find my father and brother. Things have been quiet from Erudite, so for now it seems like they're safe." When I walk through the opening in the pit, I can already see a few more Dauntless have joined us, probably over the period of last night. I glance over the new faces around me, "when did they all get here?"

Christina shrugs, "I don't know. Come on, maybe Zeke will explain during breakfast."

I swipe a blueberry muffin for Tobias and two more for me. I have fallen in love with the blueberry muffins here in Dauntless, as a matter of fact I might just eat Tobias's muffin, too. Uriah sits down next to me, "where is Four?"

"I let him sleep in today. He is just so cute when he is asleep."

Uriah puckers his face, "that's so gross to say, it's Four. He is really...not ? A little. Intimidating? Somewhat? Cute? No. Never."

I laugh and bite into my muffin, "so who are these people?"

Uriah looks around, "well most of them are loyal Dauntless, I don't think you know any of them."

I glance through the faces and see the woman who gave me my aptitude test..."Tori."

Uriah looks at me, "you know her?"

"Kind of." I stand up and grab a glass of juice, "hello, Tori."

Tori's head whips back to me, bags sink under her eyes, "Beatrice, I never thought I would see you again." She looks me over, glancing at the tight black clothes that now adorn me. "I don't remember seeing you with the other initiates."

"I didn't switch to Dauntless."

"You didn't?" Tori raises her eyebrows and turns around to face me. "Why are you here then?"

"I am Abnegation. We stopped the simulation and found safety here."

"We?"

I shift my weight from one foot to the other, do I reference Tobias as Four or Tobias? I shake my head slightly, Tobias wants to be free of Marcus, he has earned that right, "Four and I."

"Four? As in the Four I have been hearing about since I came back to the compound? Four with only four fears?"

I smile, "that sounds right. It was nice to see you, Tori, but I need to go...Could we talk later?"

Tori takes a breath, "sure, meet me at my shop later on today."

I smile my thanks and head back to the apartment. I slow my pace, Tobias has gained a reputation here in Dauntless. If anyone ever doubted that Tobias was meant for Dauntless they surely don't now. I turn the corner and stand overlooking the chasm, how will I find my father and brother? I have heard they are in Amity, but how can I know for sure? I sip my juice and contemplate eating Tobias's muffin. Technically, he should have woken up early like everyone else and gotten his own breakfast. I take one look at my hand and know my decision, this blueberry muffin is mine. Tobias is usually asleep when I get back from breakfast anyway. I take a bite and stroll down the hall. I stuff the last piece of muffin into my mouth and open the door. Tobias stands from the edge of the bed, "where is my muffin?"

I shrug and chew slower. Tobias narrows his eyes, "what's in your mouth?"

I shrug and force myself to swallow the rest of the muffin, "nothing is in my mouth."

"Tris, what did you just swallow?"

"Nothing."

"Did you eat my muffin?"

I shake my head, "no, of course not."

"Then where is my muffin?"

I snap my fingers, "you know I knew I forgot something, Tobias. I just know I did. Let me go back and grab your muffin."

"You ate it. I know you did."

"No. I didn't." It's clear I wasn't cut out for Candor.

"And my breakfast ended up in your hands not mine."

"No, Tobias."

"It's okay, I forgive you. I ate your dinner yesterday."

"You are the one who ate my burger? I thought it was Zeke...At least I didn't blame it on someone else."

Tobias smiles, "ah, so you did eat it."

I cross my arms, "let's go, we are going to be late."

* * *

Zeke scratches behind his ear, "it appears as though the two of you have excelled at your training. Honestly, I don't know what else to do with you. We can't do fear simulations, since you are Divergent that seems a little counter-productive. Tris, are you ready for your fear landscape?"

I take a shaky breath, "yeah, I think so."

"It's simple, either face the fear or get your heartbeat to a normal range, then you will advance to the next fear. The average number of fears are anywhere between 10-15. I have heard of some as high as 20 and as low as 4. Good luck." Zeke presses the needle into my neck and I turn my head as Tobias gives me a smile from behind the glass. The edges of my vision seem to blur and the last thing I see as I fade into my fears is Tobias lips forming the words, 'I love you.'

I stand in a field, the only sound is my breath and the crisp wind blowing past me. I hear a soft humming sound and raise my eyes upwards, a small black cloud approaches. Am I afraid of clouds? I smile at the thought while the cloud grows larger and the sound louder. I peer closer and recognize the from of birds. It's not a cloud, it's a swarm. The birds get closer, their screams mingling into each other and vibrating through my ears, I blink as the birds, no the crows, approach me. They surround me, their beaks tearing into my skin, talons digging themselves into my arms and legs. I scream and cover my face, forcing breath into my lungs, I need to stay calm. Tears running down my face, I double over, wrapping my hands around my knees and burying my head inside my body's cocoon. I take another breath, I need to stay calm, lower my heartbeat. I scream again as the birds get more violent, their beaks tearing my skin apart, talons raking into my muscles. I bite the inside of my cheek, until copper fills my mouth and the pressure of the birds around me subsides.

I stand up and look over my arms, free of any gashes or blood. I shake the feeling of crows on my body and look around the room. I reach out and hit a wall of glass. I press my hand to it and press my foot to the glass on the ground. I am in a glass box. I look out and see my friends, I knock on the glass and try to ask for help, but they don't seem to notice me. I see Tobias standing with his back to me, I knock on the glass, hoping he will see me. Tobias turns to me and walks to the glass box, he taps on the glass and points at my feet a wicked smirk on his face. I haven't ever seen him smile like that, this Tobias is more like the Four I see with Zeke and the other Dauntless. But even then, he doesn't seem this...cold.

I look down at my feet to see water beginning to pour into the box. Wait not a box, a tank. The water fills to my ankles, I hit the glass and scream for Tobias. I look at him his back turned me, I keep slamming the glass as the water pours in faster, colder. It's at my knees now. I kick at the glass and the water fills to my hips. I try and look for an opening some way out, some way to stop the water that is pouring into the tank. It raises to my shoulders. Where is the way out? I kick and slam my fists into the glass, the water reaching my neck, I begin to gasp for breath, trying to converse what air I have left. The water consumes my whole body, I stare at the tank. I am going to drown in this tank. I hit the glass. How do I calm down? How do I face this fear?

This is a simulation. I could smile, if I wasn't so terrified of drowning. I shut my eyes, the glass is ice. The glass is ice. I repeat it over and over in my mind, and tap the glass. It's just ice. I tap it again and hear a crack. I open my eyes and tap again. Another crack appears in the tank. I slam my palm against the glass and watch it fall apart as I imagine an ice tank would. The glass breaks and I fall onto my knees. Coughing and sputtering a few times, I am pushed forward by a new powerful force. I slam into something jagged and rough. I hold onto it. Scurrying up this mass I see that I am in what must be the ocean. I haven't ever seen it before, but it seems much larger than what the marsh would be if it was restored to its former glory. I am pushed again by the waves, I grasp onto the rock. This one isn't so bad, I take a couple deep breaths as I am slammed into another rock. I will have bruises from this, no doubt. I focus on lowering my heart rate, deep steady breaths. I close my eyes and lose myself in the sound of the water lapping against the rocks around me until the persistent slam of the waves eases into a dull pain.

I open my eyes to a burning heat. I look down and see fire. I move to run, but am stuck in this spot. I pull forward, but my hands are tied behind me to a stake. The heat burns my legs and I cry out in pain, figures emerge. At first I see that boy, Peter, who shot me in the shoulder, I see Marcus, some of the faceless Dauntless soldiers I watched kill my faction, Evelyn. I stare at them in anger, until a few more figures walk towards me. Laughing, I squint and see Christina's tall, lean figure, then Zeke and Uriah. Soon Shauna and Marlene are standing around me too, watching me writhe in pain. The fire burns up my legs and I cry out again, this time Tobias emerges, he stands there and watches me. A small smile on his lips. I want to ask him for his help, beg him to help me, but I remind myself that this isn't _my _Tobias. I look around, I made the glass break, how do I stop this fire?

Water. Water extinguishes fire, I look to Peter and feel a grin crawl upon my face, I look up towards the sky and remember the claps of thunder that used to scare me as a child. Grey clouds move in and another thunderous clap gives way to cold, heavy rain. The piercing warmth on my legs dissipates. I feel the ropes around my ankles and wrists disappear into an empty space beneath me.

I blink a few times and stare at my room in Abnegation, the grey is already beginning to suffocate me. I take a breath and see a shadow slink against the wall, another shadow, I begin to move backwards towards my closet, men appear coming towards me, the look I see in them is one of evil. Determined. My hand feels behind me until I can open the door, I slip inside and reach into the darkness as the men move closer I can feel it, what can I use? I imagine a gun, just to my left, I reach for it and pull it from the darkness. I kick open the closet door and shoot at the figures approaching me. They disappear like dust and I fade into darkness. I must have more fears than this, I know I do.

I am in a small room, a table appears in front of me, a gun on top. A woman walks towards me, "shoot them."

I look across the table and see three figures, I have come to know and love. Caleb, my father, and my mother. The woman speaks to me again, "shoot them, or I shoot you."

I shakily reach for the gun but stop short, "no."

She walks towards me, "shoot them, or I shoot you. You have ten seconds to make your choice."

I look at my family, tears streaked across each of their faces, my mother smiles at me, "Beatrice it is okay. I love you."

My father nods and grasps my mother's hand, "I love you and we forgive you."

I shake my head, "no, I can't." I feel tears sting my eyes, my mother is dead. I had to watch her die, and now they are asking me to kill her with my own hand. Caleb smiles at me, "Beatrice, do it. I understand. I love you."

The woman pushes the gun towards me, "do it, you don't have much time left. Shoot them!"

I take the gun, shakily and pick it up, the woman begins to count down from five...four...three...I turn the gun to myself and press it to my temple. Two...I shut my eyes and pull the trigger. One. I breathe.

I stand up and wipe my tears away. I stand in the fear landscape room, and glance at the glass. Zeke strolls towards me, "Tris, that was amazing."

"It was?"

"How long do you think you were in there?" Zeke pats me on the shoulder.

"A good hour or two."

"Not even close, Tris. Try 15 minutes."

"How many fears did I have?" I begin to count them on my fingers.

Zeke smiles, "six."

"Six?"

"Six." He looks past the glass at Tobias, who has a wide grin across his face, Zeke tousles my hair, "Four and Six."

I smile, "Six, I like it." More Dauntless than Tris, I think.

Tobias walks towards me and takes me in his arms, "you did great, Tris. Six fears is amazing!"

"Not as amazing as Four."

"Well, you tried."

I roll my eyes and press a kiss to Tobias lips, "you weren't in there."

"I wasn't? That is good, right?"

"It means I am not afraid of...what we spoke about? Actually, I think that it is because I know we have an understanding that I am not afraid...Tobias?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Tobias smiles and spins me around, "well, _Six, _let's go celebrate your record number of fears."

I wrap my arms around his neck, "that sounds like an excellent idea, Four."

Tobias laughs, "if you have a kid, we name him Ten."

I blush, "what makes you think it would be a boy."

"I just know." Tobias takes my hand and walks me out towards the chasm, "it's nice that at least for today, we can pretend like nothing is wrong."

"It is." I rest my head on Tobias's shoulder and look up at the Pit, "let's get tattoos."

"What?"

"Come on, let's just go all out for this, we are Dauntless after all. Besides, I figure you and I need to do something a little bit crazy to make up for all the community service we had to do at initiation."

Tobias smiles at me, "I don't know what I would do with out you, Tris."

"I wonder what you would do without me too, thankfully you won't ever be without me."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	15. Update

**Okay, everyone this is IMPORTANT!**

**So I have four stories, two of which will be ending soon. I am in a slump with terrifying Writer's Block. Plus, I feel like you guys deserve better for this story, so I will TEMPORARILY put this story on hold to revise and rewrite...I feel like if I take a step back and reread and attempt this story from a different view things will work a bit better. So please just be patient with me, I will replace chapter 1 tonight more than likely. So just check and see if I have updated the stories. I am totally open to ideas and suggestions so leave them in a review or PM me! Thanks you guys! **


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